You’ve probably heard. Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and his Fivehead are retiring. And after watching that geriatric sonofabitch try to throw a football last season, all I can say is, “It’s about damn time!”
Some people will try to tell you Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback to have ever played. Those people are idiots. Statistically, Manning was great, but he wasn’t great in big games.
The only reason he has two Super Bowl victories is because of that 2015 Broncos defense and he played the other one against a team quarterbacked by Rex Grossman.
Peyton Manning has only three touchdown passes combined in those two Super Bowls. He has only two fourth-quarter comebacks in 27 playoff appearances and the same number of game-winning drives in the playoffs as Stan Humphries, Jeff Hostetler and Mark Sanchez (two).
In other words — and I’ve said this a million times — Peyton Manning was a playoff choker. And despite all of his gaudy stats, that disqualifies him from the all-time greatest conversation as far as I’m concerned.
In fact, off the top of my head, here’s a list of quarterbacks I consider to be hands-down superior to Peyton Manning.
- Joe Montana
- Tom Brady
- Brett Favre
- Dan Marino
- Steve Young
- Johnny Unitas
- John Elway
- Bart Starr
So maybe Peyton is the ninth best quarterback of all time.
Hey, that’s still pretty good.
In honor of the old Fivehead retiring, here’s our salute to Peyton Manning, with our favorite thing about Peyton Manning — Manningface.
So long, Fivehead! So long, Manningface!