Because we knew you were wondering — Who are the Chicago Bears going to hire to screw up their team next? Well, the answer is Ryan Pace.
Pace was announced as the Bears’ new general manager on Thursday. And boy does he have some tough acts to follow. I mean, it’s hard to fuck up a once-proud franchise like Jerry Angelo did. Or so we thought! Along came Phil Emery and fucked it up even more.
Now, that’s impressive!
So obviously Pace has some huge shoes to fill.
Maybe he could trade for Jay Cutler or hire an AIDs patient from the CFL to coach the team. Oh, wait a second… those two splashy moves were already made by his predecessors.
If I were a Bears fan — and thank god I am not — I would really have to wonder if the buffoonery didn’t start higher up the chain than the general manager’s position. Maybe the clowns who keep hiring clowns for general managers?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
At any rate, Pace was the director of player personnel for the New Orleans Saints, a job he held since all the way back in 2013. While that doesn’t exactly scream experience or know how, he has been with New Orleans in some capacity since 2001. Prior to serving as director of player personnel, Pace spent six seasons as New Orleans’ director of pro scouting.
He’s also a strong candidate to lead the league in squinting from here on out.
As usual, you’ve really gone and wowed us all, Chicago!