Tom Pelissero: No Longer a Hack
You probably give zero shits who Tom Pelissero is, but bear with us for a moment. He used to cover the Green Bay Packers for the Green Bay Press-Gazette.
He’s also a noted Minnesota Vikings homer, which probably caused him to force his girl/boyfriend to drip hot wax onto his balls every night during his stint at the PG.
Luckily for him, he went on to bigger and better things. He’s now at USA Today, where fuck relevance or interest level, churn content!
Seriously, those guys churn out more garbage than a Mumbai slum. More than Pro Football Talk, which we didn’t even think was possible.
Last year, about this time, we stumbled upon an NFL preview USA Today did (in actual paper form). In it, each of their writers picked the division winners, Super Bowl winners and so forth.
Of course, Pelissero was riding high off a season where his Vikings miraculously went 10-6 without a quarterback and earned the right to lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Green Bay Packers.
So while everyone — literally, everyone — else picked the Packers to win the division, Tommy went with his beloved Vikings. Logic be damned! … as is ALWAYS the case with Vikings fans.
Well, Tom learned his lesson. Even though he secretly believes his Vikings are going to win it all this year, he was determined not be embarrassed again by stating so publicly.
This year, he went with logic.
And then he took it a step further, perhaps in an effort to cleanse himself of the stench of last year’s predictions.
Now, of course if the Packers don’t win it all this year, it will clearly be because of the Curse of Tom Pelissero.