Chicago Bears fan

We’ve always had a creeping suspicion that this was the case. Now it’s been proven as fact — Chicago Bears fans are a bunch of criminals.

A study by two University of California-Berkeley researchers has found that total crime in Chicago drops when the Bears are playing. It falls 13 percent when the Bears play on Monday night. Crime also drops when the Bears play on Sunday, by 3 percent. And, when the Bears play in the Super Bowl crime drops 26 percent.

And that’s clearly happening this year because it’s 1985. So good news for the CPD. 

“The evidence suggests these reductions are largely explained by potential offenders spending their time watching the game on television rather than engaging in criminal activity,” the paper stated.


I mean, what more can I even say? It’s right there on paper. And it’s science!