Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

This inevitably happens when a guy gets drafted and goes from being a poor country boy to be being a rich professional athlete. It’s happening to Green Bay Packers first-round draft pick Ha Ha Clinton-Dix right now.

That is, people popping out of the woodwork asking for shit.

“Hey, remember me? I’m your third cousin on your mom’s side. I’ve got this great business idea. It’s a fast food restaurant that serves nothing but fried catfish! Wanna invest?”

Unfortunately, Ha Ha hasn’t signed his rookie deal yet. The Packers have been dragging their feet on that.

While most draft pick’s contracts and bonuses are more or less predetermined by the collective bargaining agreement, first and second-round picks can negotiate their bonuses.

So you know the Packers are trying to get that number as low as possible.

But our shiny new safety is having those rich people problems anyway.

Please stop asking Ha Ha to invest in your catfish chain. He needs to concentrate on saving the Packers defense.