Hormel Chili is Today’s Big Winner

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Minnesota Vikings stadium

Minnesota Vikings stadium

The NFL gods have smiled on Hormel Chili today. They will be reaping the benefits when Super Bowl LII is played in their very own Hormel Chili Dome in downtown Minneapolis.

Yes, the NFL has awarded the 2018 Super Bowl to that chili stain of a town on that wife beater of a state. Minneapolis, Minnesota.

They beat out both Indianapolis and New Orleans for the game. Passing over Indianapolis we get. We’re tired of Indianapolis. It’s really just Dubuque with a few more people and a drug addict who owns a football team (which his father stole from another city).

Now, New Orleans makes a little more sense. Where would you want to go in February? Minneapolis or New Orleans?

Hahahahaha… it’s funny to even think about that as a question. You could even take out the “in February” part.

But anyway, the NFL likes to reward towns and teams that built their franchises new stadiums. The Giants and Jets just got a new stadium and they just hosted a Super Bowl. San Francisco just finished a new stadium and they’re getting Super Bowl L. That’s not coincidence.

So the Minnesota Vikings (with lots of help from the city, state and the NFL) is finally building a new stadium to replace the atrocity that was the Metrodome.

In 2016, the Hormel Chili Dome will be complete. A year later someone other than the Vikings will be playing the final game of the season there.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

14 Comments on "Hormel Chili is Today’s Big Winner"

  1. Kozak

    Yeah, because Minnesota is the place to be in February.

    This is also the only way Queens fans will ever get to sniff a Lombardi Trophy.

  2. Chad Lundberg

    I hope I’m not the only one thinking this! The Packers will win the Supes in the there! This couldn’t possibly be more perfect!!

  3. Howard

    OOH YAA! There are only three team I cheer on to win every week, the PACK, and whomever is playing Dallas and Minnesota. It was great raising Lombardi in The so called America’s team new stadium. It would be even better to raise Lombardi in the new Vikings stadium.

  4. Nacho dan

    Put Rodgers and Lacy on the shelf till that season. Hoist Lombardi on Minnesotas field and close the doors all I need to see. I’ll cancel my sunday ticket.

  5. Howard

    I wonder what makes the NFL honchos believe the chili dome can be done by the 2018 Super Bowl. The Vikings have never had a successful finish to what they have started.

  6. E. Wolf

    This is asinine. Minneapolis gets -20 degrees below zero in February. This ain’t New York CIty, which although has cold winters, has a reasonably temperate climate, thanks to the Atlantic Ocean. Minnesota is just under Alberta Canada, and gets chills rivaling that of Siberia.

  7. Savage57

    Admittedly being a little lazy, but this rant I posted when Monty first informed us of this possibility is as true now, if not more so, than it was then…

    This story is simply confirmation of this imagined fate when the Minneshithole vermin got ass-raped by Zygmunt (rhymes with ??) and laid down to keep their pathetic Shitfucks in the land that God shat upon.

    Most likely scenario – Shitfucks win the Division that season, Packers get a wild-card. Shitfucks have a bye week, then beat the Cowboys at home to make the Championship game. Packers dismantle the 9ers and Seahags on the road, and have to travel to the Chili Bowl to play the Shitfucks in their shiny new stadium. Minneshitholeans go off the deep end, predict victory for their heroes and brag of finally having another chance to shit the bed in the Super Bowl.

    After dismantling the Horned Faggots in their new toilet by a score of 49-3, The Packers win the conference championship, contributing to the self-induced, albeit beneficial reduction in that god-forsaken hellhole’s population by more than 100 souls. In doing so, the Packers earn the right to represent the NFC in the game that the national media starts to question – “If the game is played in Minneapolis, can it still be called a Super Bowl”? Despite a passionate public outcry to have the game re-labeled “Toilet Bowl II”, the NFL relents after Minnesota’s douchebag governor threatens that if the name of the game is changed, he’s going to try and bring another NFL franchise to the state.

    Despite an intensive week-long lobbying effort to have the game moved to a location where the players, media and fans won’t suffer a 30 point IQ reduction, Goodell insists the game be played in Minneshithole, revealing that he “at least owed the team and ownership that much” after it becomes public that he’s ass-owned Zygi for the past three years.

    When the game finally arrives, it is a festive affair, the stands replete with out-of-towners, thereby eliminating the much feared and speculated upon sweat, piss and chili-fart stench that would have overwhelmed the stadium had more than 100 native ass-wipes been in attendance.

    The Packers go on to beat the upstart Cleveland Browns in a closely fought game, 27-24. Immediately after the final gun, not confetti, but chili and pig-shit rains down on the field and the spectators in a clever tribute to the host city and state.

    Upon their return to Green Bay with their 6th Lombardi, their 2nd in a row, the team unanimously decides that there will be no post-game celebration for this game, and assign an often-used women’s shitter in the Lambeau atrium as the fitting and permanent resting place for the trophy.

  8. Nurseratchett@work

    Is it REALLY going to be the Hormel Chili Dome, Monty, or are you just being funny?

    Regardless, the only way you’d EVER get me in that godforsaken state again is to see the Pack win the SB there.

    GO PACK GO!!!!

  9. So I heard that the first thing the Queens fans do after their team wins the Lombardi Trophy is……turn off the Play Station and go to bed alone!

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