You Should Totally Have A.J. Hawk Officiate Your Wedding
I’m serious! But how can I be serious? A.J. Hawk plays football. He’s an inside linebacker for the Green Bay Packers.
A.J. Hawk is also an ordained minister and he just performed his first wedding ceremony. In March, Hawk married Packers assistant athletic trainer Nate Weir and his now wife Leslie.
But that’s really beside the point.
A.J. Fuckin’ Hawk could marry you! You know, if you put down that can of Pabst long enough to go find a woman who would marry you. Or a dude for that matter.
Just think of the possibilities.
Hawk will wear whatever you ask him. Take a look at this photo. The groom asked him to wear a pair of Vans, so he did.
I’d suggest Hawk wear a tutu for your wedding for obvious reasons.
You can also do the following:
- Pretend you’re a running back and ask Hawk to tackle you. It will be real impressive to your guests who don’t watch football when he misses.
- Pull a half barrel to the middle of the dance floor and yell at Hawk until he starts doing keg stands. He went to Ohio State, after all.
- Continually ask him, “So, where’s Clay Matthews? Is Clay Matthews coming?”
- Break down Hawk’s game film and be the one who finally demonstrates how to get off a block for him.
- Wink at his wife mid-ceremony to try and provoke a reaction.
- Emasculate him in front of all your guests by yelling “We run on Lombardi time around here, son!” if he shows up any less than 15 minutes early.
- Kick him and run.
- Even better, break a chair across his back and then be like, “But bro, I saw you on WWE that one time.”
- And much, much more.
Unfortunately, we don’t know how you can hire Hawk to officiate your nuptials. We’re pretty sure if you just badger him on Twitter enough, he’ll do it though.
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.