You Should Totally Have A.J. Hawk Officiate Your Wedding

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Get A.J. Hawk to officiate your wedding

I’m serious! But how can I be serious? A.J. Hawk plays football. He’s an inside linebacker for the Green Bay Packers.

A.J. Hawk is also an ordained minister and he just performed his first wedding ceremony. In March, Hawk married Packers assistant athletic trainer Nate Weir and his now wife Leslie.

But that’s really beside the point.

A.J. Fuckin’ Hawk could marry you! You know, if you put down that can of Pabst long enough to go find a woman who would marry you. Or a dude for that matter.

Just think of the possibilities.

Hawk will wear whatever you ask him. Take a look at this photo. The groom asked him to wear a pair of Vans, so he did.

Get A.J. Hawk to officiate your wedding

I’d suggest Hawk wear a tutu for your wedding for obvious reasons.

You can also do the following:

  • Pretend you’re a running back and ask Hawk to tackle you. It will be real impressive to your guests who don’t watch football when he misses.
  • Pull a half barrel to the middle of the dance floor and yell at Hawk until he starts doing keg stands. He went to Ohio State, after all.
  • Continually ask him, “So, where’s Clay Matthews? Is Clay Matthews coming?”
  • Break down Hawk’s game film and be the one who finally demonstrates how to get off a block for him.
  • Wink at his wife mid-ceremony to try and provoke a reaction.
  • Emasculate him in front of all your guests by yelling “We run on Lombardi time around here, son!” if he shows up any less than 15 minutes early.
  • Kick him and run.
  • Even better, break a chair across his back and then be like, “But bro, I saw you on WWE that one time.”
  • And much, much more.

Unfortunately, we don’t know how you can hire Hawk to officiate your nuptials. We’re pretty sure if you just badger him on Twitter enough, he’ll do it though.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

10 Comments on "You Should Totally Have A.J. Hawk Officiate Your Wedding"

  1. K.L.

    That’s some funny shit. But come on, let’s stop picking on Hawk. At least he doesn’t pull a hamstring or break something every other week. And to his credit, he was decent last season.

    • Archie

      AJ Hawk is sooo bad yet most Packer fans still defend him. Talk about HOMERS. Hawk, Raji & Harrell = strike 1-2-3 for their GM. Those are his highest 3 draft picks in his 9 years as Packer GM. I could do better picking blind. How can Packer fans stand their GM? Insiders say he tried to trade out of the AROD pick and that he was goaded into the trade up for CMIII by Kevin Greene. W/o those two picks this would be the worst team in football bar non. Yet those dumb Packer fans blindly follow their guy – grandpa teddy. Pathetic.

      • Phatgzus

        LOL, too good. Insiders such as yourself? The Polar Bear beats Ziggy Wilf like he’s the LAPD. Mayhew and Emery as well.
        How can we stand him? I dunno: Playoffs 5 years in a row, 3 NFC North Titles in a Row (4 overall), complete ownage of the division in general. Oh yeah! More Super Bowls than the Vikings will ever have. You’re an entertaining one, trolli-o.

  2. Nacho dan

    AJ don’t quit your day job… Or do, wait I think he did a couple years ago? I mean AJ start your day job.

  3. Cheese

    Just imagine all the people that would want Aj Hawk, the Packer player!, to marry them. He might be on to something here….

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