Boy, the Packers are Going to Win A Lot of Games in 2014

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Packers vs. Saints

Packers vs. Saints

This kind of pointless speculation happens every year after the NFL schedule is released. Everyone, from “experts” to your buddy from high school, predicts how many games their team is going to win. And if you”re a Green Bay Packers fan, that number is always pretty high.

These guesses are, of course, pretty much always way off the mark. It turns out it”s hard to accurately predict how a team is going to fare before training camp, we see what their draft class looks like and their injury situation shakes out. And it”s also nice to know what those things look like for their opponents.

That doesn”t stop a million idiots from pulling a record out of their ass in April, though.

Pretty much without fail, that will go one of two ways. If your team is already good, someone will say something like this to you.

“I [like or dislike] the schedule. I can see 11-5, maybe 12-4 this season.”

You nod silently.

Now, if you support a shitty team like, say, the casino online Minnesota Vikings or that clown show in Washington, you”ll get this one.

“You know, I can really see us going 9-7 this year. Maybe even 10-6 and competing for a playoff spot.”

You see, because in April every team is going to be competitive in their fans” eyes. Even teams who aren”t. But hope springs eternal.

This year! This year really is going to be the Vikings” year, guys!

You nod silently.

That”s why you get shit like when all of those hack ESPN team bloggers handed out a collective record for the 2014 season of 290-222. That”s a collective winning percentage of over .550, which is, you know, impossible. Out of all of these clowns, only five guys picked their teams to have a below .500.

In the NFC North, everyone is 8-8 or better, according to ESPN. And you just know the guy blogging about the Vikings said to himself, “Yeah, 8-8 is realistic. Maaaaaaaybe even 9-7.”

The point here is, no one knows what the hell they”re talking about and when you let fans in on the action, well, look the hell out.

The Press-Gazette, in their infinite wisdom, ran a poll to see how many games their readers think the Packers will win. Fans actually got to vote on every game, i.e. choose if the Packers or Seahawks will win in week 1 and so on.

How many games are the Packers going to win in 2014?

14!!!!!

As the respondents to this poll see it, the Packers are only going to lose to Seattle and New Orleans. And of course some people obviously picked the Packers to go 16-0.

The Saints game is the only game that a large majority of respondents think the Packers will lose. That was 74 to 26 percent in favor of New Orleans. The Seattle game was just 56 to 44 percent in favor of the Seahawks.

Obviously, very scientific stuff.

This is the reason the majority of people aren”t gamblers. Because they suck at it.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

9 Comments on "Boy, the Packers are Going to Win A Lot of Games in 2014"

  1. chad lundberg

    We stay healthy, we win 14 games. I nod confidently. If our quarterback alone had stayed healthy we’d’a won 12 games last year.

    Think about it. We won 15 games with the worst D in the NFL not too long ago.

  2. Shawn Iltarion

    I can see the Packers returning to the top of the NFL this coming season, but they won’t win 14 games.

    BTW, they’ll beat the Saints.

  3. Washington is definitely a clown show. The only way that trade would have made sense is if they could have picked up Andrew Luck, that is this generation’s version of Peyton Manning (meaning pretty much a no risk future hall of famer unless he gets hurt). RG3’s season last year was far more of indicative of what he really is all about than the anomaly of his rookie season. Washington is clearly a clown show as well, with all of them wearing XXL ass hats. Nice time to start from scratch with your QB search, particularly given that all of the “top” candidates are wart covered to one degree or another. Adrian Petersen is also closer to the end of his career than the beginning of it. Mr. I-hurt-my-vagina Cutler in Chicago isn’t going to get the job done either, and the Lions just don’t have a tradition to winning (poor Megatron – he may go his entire career and never win a playoff game). So even if we don’t run the table, I definitely see a place for us in the post season. It will all depend upon the injuries, Capers getting back to form, and whether TT can hit gold in the draft. But no matter what, we still make the playoffs just because of the mental midgets with whom we share the division.

  4. beardownpackup

    The Packers will win a total of 9 games, but the league will shorten the regular season to a total of 9 games. These are my predictions.

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