Aaron Rodgers: QB1

You know how idiot Chicago Bears fans always retort to an insult about their crappy team with something like, yeah, well, Aaron Rodgers is gay? Well — and you’re going to love this — there’s an actual report out there speculating that Green Bay Packers QB1 really is gay.

Actually, there are multiple reports… by websites we wouldn’t really consider credible news sources. But we’re going to break it down nonetheless.

Rodgers’ supposed partner was one-time roommate and assistant Kevin Lanflisi. The initial report came from a site called The Fame Driven and they credited the information to what they call a “spy.” Of course, the pointless speculation has blown up since then.

Here’s the “spy’s” take on the situation.

Aaron has attended numerous sports award shows with Kevin, always color coordinated and without any double female dates, including the ESPY’s. Kevin was also the first person Aaron embraced when the Packers won the Super-bowl in 2011. I just find it really strange that as of late there has been many bitter subliminal tweets on Kevin Lanflisi’s twitter alluding to a relationship much deeper than a friendship he had, with who I perceive to be Aaron Rodgers, because Kevin has NEVER once tweeted about having a girlfriend, just mainly about the Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers, and Justin Bieber’s music and sitting front row at Bieber’s concert. There has been speculation for years here in Wisconsin that Aaron is gay which I always brushed off, but after looking at Kevin’s twitter I’m inclined to believe Aaron and Kevin were more than just roommates/friends.

Wow. I sometimes go to places with just my boys. I must be gay too! And I have gay friends. I better not ever talk to them again for fear that someone think I’m gay!

Oh! And oh shit! Rodgers is wearing a turtleneck in that photo! Only gays wear turtlenecks!

The horror of it all!

At any rate, this is obviously just a bunch of speculation by some moron who won’t be named.

The site went on to cite this quote from a 2008 Sporting News interview.

I’ve got a roommate, a guy I met in town. He works for the Packers now as an athletic trainer, but he was interning when I met him and we just hit it off. He’s been great for me as far as great conversations outside of football. Our friendship goes a lot deeper than what we do.

We’re not giving this rumor any credence. Rodgers has dated plenty of hot women — Destiny Newton, Julie Henderson, Jessica Szohr, etc. We also know he had a girlfriend in college.

I mean, maybe that’s totally all just a perfectly-executed front and Rodgers maintains some sort of double life. But anyone who’s ever been to Green Bay knows it’s a small town. Sometimes you’re walking around and you run into some dude who plays for the Packers. People see things. And in the era of social media, if Rodgers was palling around with a dude in Green Bay, everyone would know it. Unless he went nowhere other than his house and 1265.

So, unless Aaron Rodgers says he’s gay or someone has some actual proof, we’ll bet on the train of hot women that he’s straight.

And frankly, if Rodgers actually is gay, who gives a shit? Sure, I know it would be news, but whatever. Fuck whoever you want, as long as she doesn’t belong to me.

Either way, Aaron Rodgers can play quarterback for my team anytime.