Christian Ponder's house

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Sad Christian Ponder is maybe not so sad anymore. He’s starting this week. That’s two weeks in a row! Woooooooooo!

He will certainly go out and light it up with our boy Greg Jennings. He might even throw for 100 yards!

Then again, maybe Christian Ponder is still Sad Christian Ponder. Maybe he knows his time playing for that craptacular organization known as the Minnesota Vikings is just about up.

That should actually make him Happy Christian Ponder, but whatever.

His home is on the market.

Should you buy it? No, because then you’d have to live amongst a bunch of mouth breathers.

But when NFL players put their homes on the market, that usually means they’re getting ready to get the fuck outta Dodge. See Greg Jennings.

So what kind of luxury does all-time Minnesota Vikings great Christian Ponder live in? Let me tell you.

His place is listed for $1,095,000. And no one in Minnesota has that kind of money, unless they play for a professional sports team. He should have just passed a flier around the locker room.

But anyway…

This joint has five bedrooms and eight bathrooms, it’s on a lake — because there are literally 10,000 of them! — has a boat dock, a tennis court and a lakeside gazebo.

Can I get a hot tub?

Yes you can, if you buy Christian Ponder’s home.

If you throw in a few extra bucks, maybe Samantha Steele will leave you a few pairs of her panties lying around. Then again, Christian Ponder has been inside those, so you don’t want them.

Oh, and you will be responsible for cleaning all the Hormel Chili stains off the furniture yourself.