Minnesota Vikings Hate Week

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Minnesota Vikings new logo

Minnesota Vikings new logo

The following is the latest from E. Wolf who is a hater of many things — the Seattle Seahawks, San Francisco 49ers and, of course, the Minnesota Vikings. He also a lover of the Green Bay Packers.

With back-to-back, heart-tugging injuries to Randall Cobb and Jermichael Finley, sometimes we Packers fans lose sight of what is really important. Beyond these gut-wrenching injuries, there are  growing concerns over the inordinate number of injuries our team has suffered, including marquee players like Claw Matthews, Morgan Burnett, Casey Hayward, James Jones, the list goes on (and on). Compound this with an inconsistent offense that has at times stalled, and we Packers fans have had much to fret about this season.

Those concerns are of utmost importance, on a lot of levels, including how all this adversity affects our prospects for winning another Lombardi Trophy this year. This week though, it is time to return to a matter the importance of which cannot be stated strongly enough — our bitter rivalry with the hated Minnesota Vikings. As our Packers travel west this coming weekend to take down a certain purple clad team in the humpty dump Metrodome, I am writing to all Packers fans throughout the land an important message we should ALL preach: a message of hatred and intolerance – hatred and intolerance for the Minnesota Vikings!

While the Bears are certainly our greatest rival, the Vikings are our most hated. That team represents all that is soulless, wrong, and vile. When I contemplate the Chicago Bears, I feel a sense of dislike, but also a reluctant admiration, a grudging respect for a worthy rival, a team worthy of competing with the Packers. When I contemplate the Vikings however, I am sometimes overcome with white hot flashes of anger. You should be, too.

Don’t think so? Merely consider the lengthy laundry list of crimes and transgressions associated with that team — always formidable enough to anger and provoke, at times inflicting some sort of setback for us and gain for them, but never truly effectual enough to break the curse that renders them  an unsung hopeless obsession, while reserving the hardware, the championships for Titletown. Green Bay 13, Minnesota Zer-0!

A series of outrageous comments by Greg Jennings are just the most recent irritant. Other incidents in this seemingly unending laundry list of outrages include — the ’98 Monday Night Football game, the infamous Randy Moss mooning, a pattern of usurping certain former Packers, including one whose treason almost put the Vikings in the Super Bowl and continues to divide Packerland even today. Then there are less Packers-centric outrages such as the Sex Boat scandal, leading the league in recruiting criminals and dirtbags, and having an unscrupulous, despicable owner whose shady dealings have landed him in some legal trouble of late, doubtlessly just the tip of the iceberg in a life of corruption and dubious, sharp business practices that we can only begin to imagine.

Whenever I see or hear anything – any word, image, or sound–related to the Minnesota Vikings, I feel as if I were coming down with the rage virus from 28 Days Later.

Except that in this instance it is ALL things Minnesota Viking’s that are the infected – the diseased. Unrelenting hatred, contempt and scorn for this disease that is the Minnesota Vikings is healthy, righteous and good, as undying love for the Packers is the cure!  When I see someone wearing  a Vikings jersey or anything else associated with that team, I feel my heartbeat rise, the adrenaline rush. Fight or flight, and I am not flying, at least not in that way. Indeed, I hate this team so much I wish the people of Minnesota told Zygi Wilf “no” on the Art Modell stadium shakedown, bringing about the disbanding of the Vikings, and replacing their existence with some new expansion team in L.A. in the NFC West, and shifting the Rams  to the North. On the heels of Super Bowl XLV, the Packers could have claimed they helped KILL — permanently vanquish — this hated foe. DING DONG! The witch is dead! Who would not want that?

So as the week unfolds and this division matchup grows closer, take note of this important reminder! Love for our Packers is complemented and enhanced by hatred, even bloodlust for the Vikings and all who support them. See someone in Vikings garb, particularly on game-day? Give him a sharp eye or demonstrate other hostile body language signifying how unwelcome and disliked his company is. If no one is looking, I cannot condemn throwing a half empty beverage cup, or worse, at him. Have a coworker who is a Vikings fan? Just keep professional and only minimally civil, limiting discourse to business related matters only. When that person enters the break room to chit-chat, excuse yourself at once, leaving only the sting of the dreaded silent treatment. If you have the power to get that person fired or demoted, or at the very least away from you, I say, why not? Dating a hot or maybe not-so-hot girl (or god forbid married to a woman) who is a Vikings fan? Shame on you! Not all romances are perfect, but certain character flaws should always give rise to hard questions. On this, the mascot for the Boston Bruins offers a pretty important lesson of his own that we should all follow:

It has been a long and trying season already, and we are only into week seven. Now as we anticipate a satisfying beat-down of those scumbags on their own turf, let us all take to heart this important message of hatred and intolerance for all things related to the Minnesota Vikings! Because love and hate are really part of the same thing (passion), this could be just as important as the love and devotion we all feel for our Green Bay Packers. Indeed, perhaps the annual pair of games against this enemy (not rival, enemy) ought to bring about yet another tradition in Packerland: Hate Week, in which all Packers fans revel in their hatred, contempt and disgust for this abomination. WE HATE THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS. It just goes hand in hand, like two sides of a coin. GO PACK! DEATH, SICKNESS AND PLAGUE FOR THE VIKINGS!

(Photo via)

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

33 Comments on "Minnesota Vikings Hate Week"

  1. BeantownPackerBacker

    Love it! Fuck the Queens! In high school our mascot was a Viking, and I refused to support the team, often vandalizing the logo because of my disdain for these shitbags. Go Pack!

  2. TyKo Steamboat

    The low-life scum-lords of the NFL that can’t even have a sex party on a boat without messing things up.
    Their mascot is a WWE-looking reject that rides around on a motorcycle draped in dead animal fur & blows into a Norse trombone whenever the team makes a first-down. Dear God…
    They sign one of the greatest players in the history of their arch-rivals’ team & their fans welcome him with open arms without even blinking an eye. They are the 7th winningest franchise in NFL history with the 2nd most playoff appearances & have exactly NOTHING to show for it. Zero Superbowls (That’s less than one…)
    Their owner (The Groucho Marx look-alike, whom was recently found guilty of racketeering charges by botching a 498$ million dollar real estate deal) plans on building a new stadium that is reminiscent of the Jawa Sandcrawler in order to move them out of the roof-collapsed Marie Callendar pot pie looking stadium they currently call home.
    Now, this season, they played a “Home Game” in London during week 5 vs. the Steelers. I just wish Norway, Sweden, Denmark & Iceland all threaten to sever their diplomatic relations with the U.S. government until the “Vikings” change their names to something more appropriate like the “Terrified French Peasants” or the “Defenseless Saxon Monks”
    You’ve heard of “Die Hard Fans”? Well these are “Die Soft Fans”.
    Hopefully i’m writing something like this in 5 years talking about how bad the Los Angeles Vikings suck…

  3. guysocke

    I did not read one sentence of this article. Not one. Nor will I read one from any future long-winded, self-serving E. Wolf piece (of shit).

    E. Wolf, you clearly have a strong grasp of the English language and/or the ability to utilize a thesaurus correctly. Either way, good for you. However, there is absolutely no need to write an article of five-point thesis length when you have but one point to make. And to then get ultra-defensive whenever faced with less-than-complimentary opinions of your work? Do not be so naive and immature. You once insinuated the reason a naysayer did not fully enjoy a previous article of yours was because he had not received a formal education. I have, and do you know what one of the very first things writing classes stress? Tight writing and brevity, especially in the business world. This was obviously lost on you at some point in your superior schooling, as evidenced by your ramblings.

    Let me remind you the articles Monty ‘publishes’ for you are opinion pieces, posted on the internet – a blog, no less – where anyone is free to read them and comment as they see fit.

    Speaking of Monty, I once emailed him a humorous picture with a strong political undertone. I suggested he post it, but understood if he would prefer to avoid putting such bi-partisan content on his site. But he showed little concern to that point and responded, ‘Absolutely. That always gets people fired up/pissed off.’ He did, in fact, post the picture in question with a short blurb and boy was he spot-on about the reactions it would elicit. I am completely convinced he posts E. Wolf’s guest articles for exactly the same purpose, not because of the quality of the writing. Or perhaps E. Wolf is blackmailing him with the nude pictures of Monty that he stole from Vijay, who now must masturbate from memory.

    P.S. Chris Restivo, please show your face before Sunday night.

  4. T-Pack

    E. Wolf can write but needs to shorten up his diatribes a bit. Lose him about half way through. But have to agree I definitely hate the Vikings much more than da Bears. Hopefully Lattimore can breakthrough and send Freeman packing!

  5. Tucson Packer

    Man, what an article, (sorry one time posters who come here to bash things, nobody cares what you type)

    I, too, have a healthy respect for da Bears. Its a great rivalry because both teams actually have talent. Ya gotta love Ditka and not just cause my mom played pool with him at the horseshoe when he played for Dallas.

    The Vikings are the loud mouthed, all bark and no bite, wanna be pre madonna mentality that I was once forced to coexist with at my public high school.

    Ill be going to a friends going-away party this Sunday night. hes a Fins fan (pity yes) but he married some fat ugly selfish retard who’s wedding theme colors were, you guessed it, purple and yellow.

    #1 The only reason I am going and not staying in my man cave with my Green Bay loving and Viking hating lady is because I made him promise to keep the game on in all rooms while it is on and I am there, except for commercials, watching it.

    #2 I will possibly wear more Green Bay garb than I did for XLV and censor myself not one bit

    GO PACK GO#hateweek

  6. Don Q

    I will be channeling all of my hate and swizzling down beers from the north end-zone in the shit dome. Can’t fucking wait.

    • the real russ letlow

      hey Don, you can start the GO PACK GO chant for the thousands of other Packers fans there. I love to hear that on TV when we are playing away!

      • E. Wolf

        Does it get any better than making the Vikings go on silent count on their own damn turf? That is what happened in San Diego, and I hope it happens Sunday night there. Take that you miserable pukes!

  7. pf4l

    I scanned through this article..read the last paragraph. Came to this conclusion..E Wolf, you may wanna just shoot yourself, at the least, get a life. I understand being a diehard Packer fan. But I think you went off the deep edge, long ago. Holy Shit Batman

  8. Minnesota

    We are sorry that you are so mentally disturbed.

    It is not our fault that you were FORCED to move to Minnesota to get a Job, so that you could have money to live on.

    No………that is the not our Fault.

    That is Wisconsin’s Fault. Own it.

  9. rebelgb

    Fuck all you haters. E. Wolf, good article man. Well done.

    I too hate the Viqueens with all my heart, including my pee pee. They are worst organization in football. Oakland some say? Nope they have won championships; Cleveland? So have they. No, the Viqueens have nothing in the trophy case. They cheat, they cry like bitches in the media, they raid our roster of rejects and they have no respect for themselves or anyone else.

    Beating them down is going to be so sweet Sunday night…..

  10. FITZCORE1252

    “You Sir are correct. Hate the Viqueens and show da Bears some respect.”

    I will do nothing of the sort!

    People get too caught up in the here and the now. Duh quears are where we need to focus our hate! The queens are nothing. Irrelevant. They are so far from our level it’s not funny, they are just an annoying little gnat that can be crushed and easily forgotten. Duh quears on the other hand still hold the narrow winning margin in our head-to-head meetings. While regular season records pale in comparison to post-season success, it is a record I want, and we should get in the foreseeable future. Also, duh quears have the second most titles with 9, while that is far off from our legendary 13, it’s still a helluva lot closer than the queens Z-E-R-O.

    The queens are no threat. You need to focus that hate where it belongs… Chigaygo!

    queens – 6

  11. Arcturus

    This guy is amusing maybe once, but now it’s just laziness on the blog’s part. Gets old really fast.

  12. Don Q

    Minnesotans = Helpless mouth-breathers who can barely tie their shoes. I almost pity them, then they start talking.

  13. cd4packers

    This is one of those articles that makes a person feel like they need to take up sports writing in order to prevent nut jobs like Wolfie from putting all the crap in his head down on paper. My first reaction was he must be kidding. But as I read on I realized that he was not kidding and is totally serious about all the “hate” and even serious about the violent behavior he suggested Packer fans engage in towards ViQueen fans. I cannot believe TP actually published this garbage.

    • E. Wolf

      Oh yes we should all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya with Vikings fan, with love all alight.
      Fa-le-la-la-la. Love, peace and understanding.

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