Aaron Rodgers vs. Washington

The following is a guest post by E. Wolf, who really likes to get pissed off about things related to the Green Bay Packers. Most notably, the Seattle Seahawks. He is now pissed about about people who are suggesting the Packers change their uniform and logo. 

The Green Bay Packers — the team, its legions of fans, its rich, illustrious history — are not just any football team, but are uniquely defined by truly extraordinary characteristics that separate it not just from other football teams, but really from any other entity on the planet; among them its fans, its location, that very history and greatness, or for that matter the classical, timeless unchanging Green and Gold uniform and that iconic oval G symbol that marks those gold helmets donned by our Packers. This proposition is as obvious as stating that water is wet or that two plus two equals four. And yet it often bears repeating.

Restating this is necessary because of regular utterances that cross the line into sacrilege or blasphemy, utterances which offend and insult those legions of us who bleed Green and Gold. Years ago, one clown called for the Packers to abandon that classical, iconic G that we Packer fans practically worship.

There ought to have been a lynch mob, literally with pitchforks, torches and noose in hand.

Most recently, on Green and Gold Today no less, Jason Wilde and Bill Johnson made similar utterances, stating that the Packers ought to change their colors and uniforms. Wilde thinks that the Packers ought to trade their classic, athletic gold for a metallic gold, similar to what the Rams did the year they lost in a huge upset to the Patriots. He comments that our Gold is not really gold, but rather yellow. It would seem he is unfamiliar with the concept of athletic gold, demonstrated not just by the Packers but the Steelers, Redskins, Athletics, and many other teams as well. Bill Johnson thinks that the Packers ought to switch to an entirely different shade of green along with a metallic gold. He also thinks we ought to rip off the Steelers unique identity of having the logo just on one side.

Personalities on this station have uttered offensive or at least annoying remarks before. Wilde confided that his wife dared to send him a text message with a smiley face emoticon when the Packers lost in San Francisco last year, ostensibly because that means more family life for them. Insofar as your audience is likely millions of Packers fans who take a Packers playoff loss like a death in the family, perhaps such comments ought to be kept private, as they suggest a lack of fitness to cover a team with the requisite enthusiasm and devotion. Bill Johnson regularly bellows and chastises fans for being “spoiled” for wanting and expecting Super Bowl championships every year, as if Packers fans should be happy about squandering two back-to back Hall of Fame quarterbacks (the caliber of which some teams never see) with only one ring apiece, when such elite quarterbacks often win multiple Super Bowl championships. Or on the week of the draft, the two spent several days carrying on about gay rights issues rather than impart their superior, expert knowledge about this year’s draft, a matter of paramount importance to the Packers’ bid to win additional Super Bowl championships during the Rodgers and McCarthy era.

This transgression, however, rises to a whole new level entirely. The Packers uniform — its colors, its schematics, as well as that iconic oval G symbol — are sacred. As a testament to this glorious past and tradition, one of the birthrights of Packer fans everywhere is the unstated knowledge that, unlike other teams that ebb and flow with the gaudy fads of the times, the Packers uniform, colors and schematics will never change. Sure there have been small variations on a theme, such as adding or removing a stripe on the sleeve, but the totality of the uniform and colors remains substantially unchanged.

The history, tradition, this aura of greatness, are some of the reasons why the Green Bay Packers exist in a small Wisconsin town that logic dictates should not have an NFL team, but for the history and tradition of Green Bay Packers football. As part of this history and tradition, and indeed in honor of it, the Packers do not change their uniform or colors like many of those other teams. This is one of the myriad factors that render the Green Bay Packers innately superior to many other teams. Not special, or unique, or interesting, but INNATELY SUPERIOR, the way single malt scotch is superior to lower end malted blends, or premium ribeye is superior to cube steak or stew-grade meat. This is one reason why the Packers are innately superior to, for example, the Patriots, who betrayed their classic look because of a couple of super Bowl losses. They traded classical, timeless aesthetics for a fugly, soulless getup, replete with the flying Elvis that looks more like a bank logo than a symbol representing a football team. Other teams, such as the Titans, with that blue flame T reminiscent of a paint job on a hillbilly’s muscle car, the Seahawks and the Jaguars are patently ugly as well, as their absence of history and an identity renders them meaningless, signifying really nothing at all.

So, as obvious as this proposition should be, let it be declared loudly, passionately and with much anger throughout the land, the Packers uniform and colors are an eternal constant, as iconic as that sacred, illustrious Oval G symbol emblazoned on the helmets and ubiquitously adorned throughout all of Packerland as the undying star that it is. This uniform, these colors which symbolize this great team — this team greater than life itself — will remain as we know them until the end of days. They will never change! They must never change! And woe be to anyone — anyone — who suggests otherwise, be they low-life Vikings fan scumbags or radio pundits inexpicably broadcasting to Packers fans while daring to utter such blaspehemous, outrageous remarks. Green and Gold, now and forever more!