David Bakhtiari

We alluded to this the other day, but David Bakhtiari will be taking over for Bryan Bulaga at left tackle. Bulaga is out for the season with a torn ACL.

That’s correct. A rookie will likely be protecting Aaron Rodgers’ backside when the Green Bay Packers open against the San Francisco 49ers.

Here’s the good news: Bakhtiari was a fourth-round pick, but many “draft experts” rated him higher. He came out after his junior year and saw his slide as a motivational tool.

Bulaga was shifted from right tackle to left tackle in the offseason because Marshall Newhouse proved to be nothing more than a shitbrick in two seasons at the position. Now Newhouse is a right tackle and Bakhtiari, who word has it, was about to displace Newhouse as the starter at right tackle, is the left tackle.

Here’s the other not-so-bad thing. Bulaga, despite how much the Packers coaches praised him — no one remembers that one game where he gave up four sacks in the first half to some joke names Chris Clemons — was average at best at right tackle. Supposedly, he had made the transition to left tackle, his college position, just fine and the Packers were better off, but that’s not saying much.

You could play left tackle better than Newhouse and, well, you’ve never given up four sacks to Chris Clemons in one half before, either. Those four sacks allowed that useless dick to register a career-high 11.5 on the season… at age 31.

But I digress.

Aaron Rodgers was sacked 51 times last season, the highest total in the league. Partially, that’s because his offensive line sucks and partially, that’s because Jesus holds onto the fucking ball too long.

I mean, brass tacks.

Yes, the O-line blows, other than Josh Sitton. But yes, also, the $120 million dollar man holds onto the ball toooooooo long, sometimes.

Anyway, the point here is, if Bakhtiari is what he thinks he is and what we’ve heard he is, Rodgers will be able to sit back there and hold the ball all day. Much more so than if Bulaga were covering his backside.

If that were the case, Rodgers would get sacked seven times in a game by Jumpy Geathers at some point. But no one knows when, because Jumpy hasn’t been in the league since 1997. He could own Bryan Bulaga, though! Just by coming out of retirement!

The only problem is, now Newhouse might be covering Rodgers’ front side at right tackle. At least he’ll see the sacks coming.

If only the Packers would let Don Barclay back into that competition.