Minnesota Vikings Are Model Franchise Says Minnesota Homer

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Minnesota Vikings fan

Minnesota Vikings fan

The Minnesota Vikings are a laughingstock. They’re a joke. They’re a… model franchise?

Yeah, that’s what Star Tribune columnist Jim Souhan says. Granted, they were being compared to the Minnesota Twins, Wild, Timberwolves and Golden Gophers. The only one of those teams to even approach mediocrity are the Wild, who were knocked out in the first round of the playoffs by the Blackhawks.

That’s kind of like comparing a bag of airplane peanuts, five stale Cheetos, a mini box of Corn Flakes, half a beer with your cousin’s backwash in it and a turd.

“Oh, I guess I’ll take the bag of airplane peanuts because at least it’s not opened yet and the Corn Flakes don’t come with milk or a bowl.”

So yeah. Those airplane peanuts are looking mighty attractive right now. Here’s Souhan’s reasoning for putting the Vikings atop his list of pathetic.

Leslie Frazier and Rick Spielman have turned an organization that for decades seemed intent on embarrassing itself into a model for how pro sports franchises should operate. The Wilfs have matured into patient owners who will spend what it takes to win.

The Vikings’ stars are remarkably likable and accessible, and the team will, in a few years, begin playing in an architectural marvel that should transform lower downtown. Adrian Peterson is the foremost symbol of this franchise, a stunning athlete who is loved by his teammates and goes out of his way to do good deeds.

Last year, Frazier oversaw an improvement of seven games in the standings while navigating a difficult division. There’s no guarantee his 2013 team, with questions remaining at quarterback and on defense, will win 10 games again, but he and Spielman appear to be building a sustainable program.

Did you notice what he left out? He should of put in something like this at the end.

“Please don’t pay any attention that the Vikings have the biggest bunch of ignorant, shitfuck fans on the face of the earth.”

Must have forgotten that line.

Also, let’s point out the fact that the Vikings have had 40 arrests since 2000. In comparison, the Detroit Lions, who have been making a strong run at that record in recent years, only have 17.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

56 Comments on "Minnesota Vikings Are Model Franchise Says Minnesota Homer"

    • Savage57

      I’d like to make a motion that for the remainder of the 2013 NFL season, all references to ‘Vikings fans’ on this website are required to use the descriptive preposition “shitfuck” in every post.

      Can I get a second? (Of Course I Can!!!!)

      All those for say AYE. All those against, fuck off.

      The motion carries.

  1. Your a moron

    This article is the worst piece of writing I’ve ever seen. Calling Viking fans “shitfuck fans” is immature. The fact that a Packer fan is calling other fans such a childish name just goes to show that maybe the horrible names should be used to describe you, the author here.

    The Vikings ARE a model franchise, and they’ll be proving it starting this season with wins and by challenging for the NFCN crown.

    You, sir, are an embarrassment to football fans.

    • Abe Frohman

      I think you mean “You’re a moron” One is a contraction of you and are, the other is a possessive pronoun.

      This is like 3 grade english? Guess they don’t teach that up Nort’ der hey.

    • Savage57

      Calling Vikings fans “shitfuck fans” isn’t immature, it’s the most accurate observation since Einstein proved E=Mc2.

      Fucking tool.

    • Have you read any of the other posts on this site? Calling Viking fans “shitfuck fans” is not only awesome, it’s factual correct. You can’t mess with science, you Hormel chili-eating &^%#$#$!!.

  2. E. Wolf

    Well, Minnesota Vikings fans ARE insufferable, particularly to the audience of this site, namely Packers fans.
    The extortion that Wilf pulled off with the stadium is nothing less than a Arty Modell shakedown.
    As much as I hate to say it, Frazier did a good job raising expectation wit that team. However, even the author concedes that “questions remain at quarterback and on defense.” That is putting things lightly.

  3. FITZCORE1252

    “You’re”

    Fucking queen fans, try to be cute, but their 3rd grade education gets in the way. Good game. Good effort.

    What a joke of a franchise. I’m glad they’re in our division, a couple freebies a year never hurts.

  4. Who?

    What a ridiculous article. “Shitfuck fans” – you stay classy, Green Bay fans.
    Oh and by the way, I like Green Bay. Way to make the rest of us look like tools.

    • E. Wolf

      Monty can be a bit of a vulgarian. I might choose other words, such as loathsome, insufferable, pathetic.
      I personally have an aversion to all things related to this hated rival that I cannot quite describe. If you have ever seen the movie 28 Days Later, at times I feel I am coming down with something approximating the rage virus at the mere thought of the Vikings, or most of their fans.
      Ever see that vid of that little girl crying because the Packers beat the Vikings? I want to bottle her tears as an invigoratiing youth-serum, as to lap at her tears would be very sweet sustenance!

    • the real russ letlow

      quit sniveling (verb; used without object: 1. to weep or cry with sniffling. 2. to affect a tearful state; whine.) and go back to Whoville.

  5. justin

    Oh look. The crack smokers needed something to bitch about so they chose to flail around on the floor like the little bitches they are.

    God you packer fans on this site are just a waste of space. This is the best you can come up with. Really? Stick to what you guys do best; sucking on rodgers dick for another 7 years while he CHOKES in the playoffs

    • the real russ letlow

      1. capital “P”; 2. this site is just that – a Packers site; 3. we’ll take our 13 titles and yearly playoff qualifying to the pussies zero for everything every day; 4. get over yourself and get off of our site!

    • And you can stick to sucking AP’s tit because he’s the only reason your talentless group of ex-packers made the playoffs. How long are you ass-clowns gonna ride that guy before you break his legs off?

    • Phatgzus

      Way to specify, I assume you mean arrests; in any case, the Packers, sure as Barret 50 cal. at a 1,000 yards on a windless day, don’t have the same number of anything as the Lions, including Hall-of-Famers, Championship titles, and intelligent fans.

  6. Don Q

    I think the best description for viking fans would be thin-skinned or sensative. The proof is in some of the above posts. Time to man up viking fans. Things aren’t going to get better for you guys. Maybe you guys should let the comments roll off your back and not throw a tantrum on this blog. So cliche.

  7. RelampagoBlanco

    I think we’re all missing the biggest point here.. Don’t those mini cereal boxes open up to be a bowl anymore if you lay them flat on the side?

  8. ...wat..

    Come on, everyone knows the Vikings have a rich history of winning football games (except for big ones). But seriously, top ten in all time winning percentage, four of the first eleven Super Bowls, last ever NFL Champions (not saying it was a world championship, but if you look in the NFL History books, it is labeled as a championship for the franchise), 12 Hall of Fame players, it goes on and on. Definitely not a joke of a franchise. There’s plenty of wayy worse franchises. I come from a family of Vikings fans, and I’m not really going to put up with you guys calling my family “ignorant shitface fans”. I mean… really? Rude. You can’t just stereotype a whole fan base. It makes so sense. If it’s a joke, or a meme, then I’ll accept it. But you guys are seriously throwing out those insults, it’s classless!

    • E. Wolf

      I come from a family of Vikings fans, and I’m not really going to put up with you guys calling my family “ignorant shitface fans”.

      This can be overcome. My mother abused alcohol and drugs, and subjected me to a rather unwholesome environment growing up. I left her when I was 14. You have the power to break the chain of dysfunction.

  9. Savage57

    Newsflash for all the Queen’s trolls that come on this site……

    This is a totally gonzo, everything Pack rules/fuck-the-Vikings website. When one of you Hormel-eating fucks pops up with your weak-ass “we’re gonna be”, or, “we might have been” posts, then expect to leave here with your shit tore up a little bit.

    Better yet, stay the fuck away altogether!

      • Phatgzus

        You’re like a Wallenda man, you just walk the line, high above the world. Takes cajones man, it’s a dangerous place up there but the view is awesome.

  10. FITZCORE1252

    “I come from a family of Vikings fans”

    Then your opinion matters not, you come from Tard jizz.

    “I’m not really going to put up with you guys calling my family “ignorant shitface fans”.”

    If you come around these here parts… yes, yes you will, shitfuck.

    • Phatgzus

      This was like witnessing that scene in Jurassic Park with the T. rex and the dude hiding in the shitter

  11. Bo Horn

    I respect the packers and their model fans but if you guys are typical packer fans then you should take a few steps back. The vikings are a model franchise now and the arrest “problem” hasnt been a “problem” in years. Anyway, I look forward to some fun games next year and heres to the bears falling into the basement with the lions and a few extra free wins.

  12. E. Wolf

    Phatzgus,

    Come now I just speak my mind. As an atheist with an affinity for the philosophy of Norse Mythology and Odinism, I am just the worst sort of heathen. After watchng that daring act where he constantly thanks Jesus, I am convinced his belief in the splendor of the lord derives from the carnal delights he enjoys with his wife.

    http://spotted.heraldtribune.com/images/100047/photos/2012/04/29/gallery/2778793.jpg

    http://regenaxe.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/erendira-wallenda.jpg

    I can only surmise that wrapping her legs around one’s neck and shoulders–either to pummel her like a pin attached to a miniature piston machne as furiously thrusts through a butterfly, or to wear her thighs arounds one’s face like a gas mask to succour the delights of that delicious hot center–would be a religious experience of the hightest order. I say this even though I am not generally into Latin women.
    Seriously though I am just a passionate Packers fan whose love for that team is almost matched by my hatred for the Minnesota Vikings. I really would like to bottle the tears of that little tot Vikings fan, just as Cartmann lapped at the tears of Scott Tennermann weeping after his dead parents. For their anguish sustains me, gives me strength.
    ON THIS I CANNOT BE REASONED WITH.I CANNOT BE NEGOTIATED WITH, OR MADE TO FEEL SYMPATHY, OR EMPATHY, OR PITY. I make no distinction on age, race, gender, or any other supposedly mitigating factor. Anyone or anything expressing affinity for the Minnesota Vikings or expressing opposition to our beloved Green Bay Packers incurs my enmity.

  13. tedtomato

    Viqueer fans are just that..ignorant shit fucks…especially the double douche..if anyone is gay its your purple roidhead gayred allen!!! Cant wait to crush that fag team again this year..so we can all hear how they almost won…you dont like whats said on here…leave..its a Green Bay Packers website!!!!

  14. Rkom

    Haahaaaaa
    The vikings really do suck all around
    I hate ’em
    I’d rather see the bears win 18 straight superbowls than the vikings get to one.
    I spent a summer in minneapolis once…. Try saying hello in a checkout line or nodding your head in a hello fashion at a corner gas station as you just make eye contact going about your business passing by…. Those sad fucks make you feel like you are going to rape or rob them just with a little eye contact…. I swear!

    I’ve lived out west and in the south now for many years – born raised in wisconsin…

  15. Rkom

    My fucking god… I just read some of the viking apologist BS!
    It is as if they do not know what they are saying… Or understand what we mean.
    Poor fucks.
    Criteria for being a viking fan – i assume

  16. Kreg

    I am tired of hearing how Vikings fans think they are the best. Before Randy Moss saved the franchise they had 7 games a year blacked out. That is ALL home games with the exception of the Packers game (which sold out and they complained we would take over their stadium, sorry kids, it’s true). 3M and Pilsbury used to buy over 25,000 seats per game to combat the black out rule, then gave up on the team too. It became envogue to attend a game after Randy helped set the NFL scoring record in 1998, so all the trendy folks came out of the woodwork and started attending games claiming they love them thru thick and thin and bleed puple. SHALLOW, SHALLOW, SHALLOW.
    BTW, Minny still will only sell Pack/Vike tickets to Vike season ticket holders. Can’t buy them thru the Vikes ticket office like ALL their other games. Great fans? Ha ha ha ha ha ha HAQ!

  17. justin

    You packers bitches are a truely pathetic bunch. Your team is fallung apart. Your article is unoriginal. And worst of all. You bitches reek of FEAR. you cant stand the fact that the vikings keep getting better while your windom is closed and dead. You are so afraid all you can do is make the same dumb ass remakes you rednecks always make. But hey. Go ahead. Vikings are here to stay and we will be the ones laughing when rodgers is on the ground crying like the little bitch he is.

  18. justin

    Kreg. You want pathetic. Take a good look at your own zit invested ass of a face. Your moving company of a team was a wash of failure and disgrace from the 1970s to the 1990s. Two decade of pure failure. And you team gets a miracle players that you didnt even draft and suddenly all of birches scream packers for.life. look at your own sinful pride before you speak of ours.
    And how did you repay this man for giving you whinny bitches something to cheer for. You run him out of town to go with that cock sucker rodgers. Good job you little bitches

    • Kreg

      Mi nayme is Justin! I sekund thee knochun that thee Vykeens ahre thee bestest fhuutbahl teem in Amerika. Whe ahre thee bestest fhahns en thee hol wurld, evereewon elz ahre ‘birches’ hue ghot lukhee en thee Brent Farve trayde. thyen uhe ternt uhre bahk ohn hyme ahnd hyee bekhame hour bestest coreterbahk ehvher. Suckas!!!!

    • E. Wolf

      Good job you little bitches

      Indeed it was a good job, indeed it was. Two back to back hof quarterbacks in a row. Redeemed the wasted Sherman Favre era with one Super Bowl Title and the promise for at least one more inthe foreseeabe future. You had us in your sights, just one errant pass away from the Super Bowl, but in the end it all just underscores your pathetic history while putting an exclamation point to our illustrious history.
      We have the titles and the hardware, whereas you pukes merely celebrate over 50 years of hopeless futility. Of course your futility lacks the charm or history or likeability of the Cubs. Maybe that is why your tears of angusih sustain me so. I recommend them highly.

    • Kreg

      Justin, my dear boy, can you tell me how many of those games during the time frame you ref’d were NOT sold out?

      Guess again….Green Bay Packer Football loyalty is not based on breaking scoring records, celebrity endorsements, or shiny glass stadiums. It is something you can’t understand.

      Give up? The answer is ZERO. Even in our darkest days when we criticize everything about our team we still wait in line and support them by showing up. You may think that is dumb because you can go hang out at the Mall of America when your team sucks but we think you should find a new hobby if you jump on because it is the “cool” thing to do when they are winning.

      That, my pathetic basement dwelling buddy, is why Minnie will never be a true football state. Every few years we hear about them moving to LA because fans don’t show up to the games (blame it on the old stadium, it’s really funny). That just doesn’t happen to a FAN owned organization.

    • E. Wolf

      No YOU are what is wrong wit this country, Justin. What the fuck is ‘wastes of flesh’ anyway.
      Remeber bitch, the score is Green Bay 13, Minnesota Zer-O!

  19. justin

    Remeber bitch. 0 that is how many times rodgers will get ylu back to the game. And 523. That is how yards ap ripped your pussy asses for bitches

    • Kreg

      Remember when the Pack stopped AP 9 yards short of the all-time record? That’s too bad because no one ever remembers who got second place.

  20. tedtomato

    Wow..that is one whiny little piece of shit..does mommy know you’re on the computer? Hmmmm…wasnt it just 2010 that Rodgers got the pack another Lombardi? Little zit faced punk….Christian the butthole pounder..will never get your pathetic shitfuck team to the superbowl!

  21. DD

    Minnesota Shitfucks. I love it. Monty should have a contest for the best “Shitfuck” logo. Then print t-shirts with the Shitfuck logo so the hoardes of Packer fans can storm the “Shitfuck” Dome with our “Shitfuck” t-shirts.

  22. Beat Down

    Pretty funny how the kid in the pic digging shit out of the toilet is wearing green and gold.. not purple

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