Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford signed a three-year contract extension this week. The deal gave him $33.5 million guaranteed and raised his average salary to more than $15 million per season.
But that doesn’t mean Matthew Stafford is all grown up.
There’s Doughboy up above getting all patriotic amidst the sea of red and blue Solo cups, empty Bud Light cans and (probably) vomit. Sweet sleeveless Georgia shirt, brah! You been workin’ out, haven’t ya?
Oh, and then here’s Doughboy signing that new contract earlier this week.
What’s up brah? You got sleeves on your shirt! And where’s your backwards ballcap, brah!? And who’s that dude sitting next to you? He is so not cool, brah. I bet he couldn’t even do a keg stand for five seconds, brah.
Speaking of keg stands. We know Kelly Hall can do them. We’ve seen the evidence. She showed some of that form by sucking straight out of the tap on the 4th.
Now that’s a classy broad. Who wants to bet people were chanting USA! USA! USA! while this was going down?
Of course, this is not all Kelly Hall is known for. She’s also known for two other things.