Jeff George Will Fix Christian Ponder

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Jeff George

Jeff George

We’ve talked about what a terribly awful quarterback Minnesota Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder is many times. Well, the Vikings have a plan to fix that. That plan is named Jeff George.

The Vikings, in their infinite brilliance, have brought in George as a “guest coach.”

“We told our players just to be able to pick his brain, our quarterbacks, and talk with him about some of the things he saw as a young quarterback and what he saw as a veteran and just his maturation over the course of his career,” Frazier¬†told 1500ESPN.com’s Tom Pelissero. “He was a very good player for a long time, high draft pick, and I think he can really help our players with some of his background and his knowledge as well.”

If you don’t recall the awesome career of Jeff George, let us explain.

First, he rocked an awesome mustache (and then he shaved it and he just looked weird). He was also the No. 1 pick in the 1990 NFL Draft by Indianapolis. He soon demanded a trade and got one, spending several seasons in Atlanta, where we was most noted for a sideline tirade unleashed on coach June Jones. George also spent time with the Vikings and Raiders. He had a cannon arm and not much else, so surely he’ll be able to teach Ponder how to have a cannon arm too.

You know, because that stuff rubs off.

George will probably also be able to teach Ponder how to whine and cry when he doesn’t get his way and maybe even how to hold onto the ball way too long. Intangibles — that’s what Jeff George has.

Is Ponder excited that he’s going to learn how to be less horrible from George? You bet your sweet ass!

“We haven’t talked a whole lot,” Ponder said. “He has come up to me a few times. He understands the game. Obviously, he was around for a while. He’s got a great knowledge of the game. He’s sat in the meetings and stuff with us. Just another guy that you can bounce something off of him, and he’s good to have around.”

See? This is working stupendously already.

The Vikings are surely Super Bowl bound now!

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

15 Comments on "Jeff George Will Fix Christian Ponder"

  1. Kozak

    God I still remember that Monday Night game with George at QB for the Redskins when the Pack crushed them 37-0.
    Dennis Miller made some great rips on his Deer in the Headlights look that night….

  2. E. Wolf

    The jokes write themselves on this. George and Ponder are sort of inversion of one another. Jeff George had raw ability, but that was squandered by way of horrible personality and total lack of intangibles. Christian Ponder seems to have some of these other quallities, but without the athletiscism.
    Here is the problem–the Viking have not had a quarterback sutiable for a mentor since Fran Tarkenton, and he is old and the game has changed radically since he played.
    The Minnesota Vikings–celebrating over 50 Years of Hopeless Futility!

  3. So the one, single quality Ponder has, he’s a good guy (oh yeah, Sammy too), they want to expose to one of the worst-dick-of-a leader-QBs from the past? Maybe he’ll get so annoying Sammy will leave him.

  4. Savage57

    I am giddy with delight at this move.

    If George can share a fraction of the petulant, whiny, little-bitch attitude with Ponder that he so freely displayed in his tenure in the NFL, then it will be a wonderful move for the Packers.

    Imagine Ponder with his looks of exasperation at his receivers for balls he threw 5 yards over their heads.

    Imagine Ponder all up in Leslie Frasier’s face in crunch time when coach is calling him out for shitting the bed.

    Between this, Jennings already injured and running his mouth, the season is starting to round into shape.

    God I hate Minneshitholeans.

    • David

      If George can also teach Ponder how to hurt his vajajay… it will be like playing against Cutler 4-5 times a year. That’s almost 1/3 of a season!

  5. Icebowl

    Laugh my friggin ass off…..
    Great stuff….

    This is as good as da Bearz signing Jamarcus Russell to teach Cutla how to not shit his pants everytime he has to play the Packers…

  6. Brett Favre

    Damn.
    Those bastards didn’t even ask me…..
    That’s it – I’m going to mentor Stafford so the Lions can beat those assholes twice this season…

  7. tedtomato

    Thats gonna be funny watching that shitbag being coached by an exshitbag..throwing wounded ducks to his exbackup shitbag..and our exinjured trash talking shitbag..should be a comical season folks!

  8. I’m sorry, but when you have AP and you still can’t make plays, you’re gonna need more than Jeff George to help you out. Maybe Ponder can spend a week in Packers training camp and learn a thing or two from McCarthy.

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