Johnny Jolly

The Green Bay Packers will not be having sex with you on the first date, no matter how much drank they consume, Johnny Jolly. That decision has been made.

They’ve been burned by men like you before, Johnny. Now they are wiser and their panties will not drop so easily this time.

The Packers are seriously considering keeping the newer and soberer Johnny Jolly around, but they’re being cautious. According to GM Ted Thompson, the first step is having a conversation with Jolly.

“Johnny was a good football player for us,” Thompson said. “But let’s take this step by step. … The first step is for everybody to sit down and talk, that sort of thing. We don’t have any answers, I don’t think anybody has all the answers. But we’re going to talk to the man and find out all the stuff that we can find out in terms of his obligations and that sort of thing.”

Obviously, there are no guarantees for Jolly, but we do know this. The Packers are looking for ways to improve their defensive line and if they didn’t think Jolly at least gave them a chance to do that, they’d have released him already.

Instead, they restructured his contract and lowered his salary to the $700,000 range. That takes any burden off the team’s salary cap.

It’s anybody’s guess what Jolly can do on a football field — he last played four years ago when he was 26. Jolly, does, however have some allies on the Packers. Specifically, coach Mike McCarthy.

“I think it’s important to go through all that before we get into how we feel,” McCarthy said. “Johnny, I’ve always considered him one of our guys, and everybody knows what he’s been through. It would be great if this opportunity works out. But as an organization, we have a responsibility to go through the process.”

The message seems pretty clear. Get your ass in shape, stay sober and you’ve got a shot, Johnny.