Hey Everyone, Lance Easley is Still a Dick

8 44
Lance Easley

Lance Easley

Your good buddy and mine, Lance Easley, wants to remind everyone again of what a dickbag he is. As usual, he’s succeeded.

If that name isn’t ringing a bell for you, we’re talking about the turd who blew the final call of the Green Bay Packers “loss” to the Seattle Seahawks back in September. He’s in the news again because, well, even though he’s a swell Christian fellow who just wants to get on with his life, he’s gone and agreed to let someone run another self-serving story about him.

This time the outlet is the Seattle Post Intelligencer, who brought Easley to Seattle to relive his moment of pure, unadulterated shitheadedness. It’s unclear if he made them pay for the story.

Here are some highlights of Easley’s latest plea for attention.

On how he was more concerned about the media reaction than getting the play call correct:

“I get over there, they’re so tied up and tangled up, arms all wrapped around. Nobody could pull it away, equal strength. Then I looked at my back judge who was there, Derrick (Rhone-Dunn) — we looked at each other and I’m thinking: ‘Oh, OK. The media, if we don’t sell this thing, they’re going to crucify us.’ Because if we stop and talk about it, they’re just gonna go, ‘These idiots, they don’t know what they’re doing’ — just like they were all through the whole (lockout).

“I looked at his eyes, he looked at me. He looked down, he saw the same thing I had, so there was really nothing else we could do. So bang, I go up with (the touchdown signal). His hands go up and he does ‘stop clock.’ That was so we could talk about it; he and I talked about it afterwards. But my ruling was official. And I knew, after I made that call, I knew that if I erred it was going to replay, they’ll resolve it there. So then I just had to break up the players and deal with the chaos that came afterwards.”

On how Golden Tate getting one hand on the ball makes it qualify as a catch:

“I can’t do anything about it. There’s nothing I can change about that call,” Easley said. “And I can’t. I can’t change it, and I wouldn’t because I’ve looked at the replay several times. And according to Sports Illustrated (photos) his hand was on the ball first, so by rule, Tate was the first one to control it. Even though it was one hand. That’s where the looseness is in that rule.”

And then here’s the part you’re sure to love the most. Easley is more than happy to profit off being a fucking imbecile. Did you even know that was possible? Usually people are unable to make money or even hold a job if when they lack things such as common sense or the ability to read and write. Not Lance Easley!

He’s trying to be a motivational speaker. We’re guessing his theme will be something like, “Look at me, I’m a total and complete shitbag without a modicum of intelligence and you’re actually paying me to stand here and talk. Anything is possible!”

Easley is also releasing a book, “Making the Call: Living with Your Decisions.” The alternate title was “Deluding Yourself into Believing You Have Self Worth Even When You’re a Total Piece of Shit.”

And of course, Easley is working on two football-themed documentaries, one of which will detail his return home after his transformation into the biggest fuck up in the history of fuck ups.

So, be sure to run out and buy all of those things.

Oh, and by the way, had that play been called correctly the Packers would have hosted the 49ers in the divisional playoffs. Of course, they would have needed to play with 15 guys on defense for that to really have made any difference.

About The Author

Mad Packer is the kind of guy you should sit beside at Lambeau. Just once. Find him on Twitter @1MadPacker.

44 Comments on "Hey Everyone, Lance Easley is Still a Dick"

  1. Hawk Fan Here

    I understand you’re angry. And you have a right to be.. I’d be just as pissed about this if it went the other way around. But isn’t this a little overboard? I agree he shouldn’t be writing a book about this. He should really just stay away from the spotlight and avoid confrontation. But, I mean, come on? It’s not like he’s a “complete shitbag” or lacks “the ability to read and write” just because he royally fucked up on the final play of the game. There were SO many bad calls in that game, and he’s getting all the blame because he made the last one. Take a deep breath. Goooooosfraba. I’ve lost a little faith in the human race from this article. I’m just thankful there haven’t been any comments from fans agreeing, wholeheartedly, with your assessment of this man.

    • Cheese

      How would you be pissed if the correct call would have been made? Jennings had complete control of the ball the whole way down, while Golden Turd only had one hand on it and then tried grabbing it when they were on the ground. Everyone and their mother knows it was an interception. I don’t care about the call because it’s done with, but don’t fucking come around looking for self pity and fame acting like you made the right call. You said it yourself, he “royally fucked up” the game. So fuck him, fuck Golden Tate, and fuck Pete Carroll, because they’re all delusional shitbags that hide behind the nfl and can’t admit that they got away with one.

    • Hawk Fan Here

      I meant I’d be just as pissed if the Seahawks we’re defending the lead and got screwed over like the Pack did.
      In fact, I was pretty pissed when that was the case a mere 3 minutes before the “Fail Marry” when the Packers got a couple calls on their way to their only touchdown. But.. in the end my team won off the same type of poor refereeing that led to the hawks trying to take the lead back in the first place. So, obviously, I have no right to say “you shouldn’t be pissed because the hawks shouldn’t have been in that position anyways.”

      So I guess I’m saying I feel your pain (I still have the occasional enraged flashback of Super Bowl XL). Referees should never decide a game.

      But honestly, who are you to say Tate and Pete are delusional shitbags. Hell, if they admitted to the call being incorrect the league may have overturned the call. Then they’re the ones getting grilled on ESPN. You stick behind your team.

      • Cheese

        You stick behind your team? So your suppose to lie through your teeth so you can run away with a cheap win you didn’t deserve? All while totally ass fucking the integrity of the game. Good Ole Tate and Pete could be the bigger men and admit that the call was wrong instead of being afraid of what the NFL is gonna do. Second, the NFL is too proud and arrogant to overturn anything that might ruin their image, hence the New England Patriots. So why not tell the truth and throw the league under the bus because they’re the reason this whole thing happened in the first place. They would have gained a lot more respect from their fellow players, coaches, and fans around the league. But who needs sportsmanship? Maybe I’m just fucking delusional to think that people should actually care about the game, but if the roles were switched and McCarthy/Finely were pretending like that was a catch, I’d be embarrassed for them.

    • Hawk Fan Here

      “You said it yourself, he “royally fucked up” the game.” – Cheese

      Once again:
      “There were SO many bad calls in that game, and he’s getting all the blame because he made the last one. Take a deep breath. Goooooosfraba.”

      • Phatgzus

        He was the head of the crew that made those terrible calls, so , ultimately, it comes back to him whether you deem it fair or not.

  2. tim

    being a passionate Packer fan, I gotta say I agree with the spirit and sentiment of this article, albeit tongue in cheek.

  3. therealChuckywasCecil

    Looks like someone is trying a little too hard to hold on to his 15 minutes of shame. And what the hell is a “Hawk Fan Here” doing on this website, slow day in the Northwest?

  4. E. Wolf

    Had the correct result occured, we would have had a bye week. SF would not. Would we have won the game in that instance, maybe.
    I wish upon Lance Easly the most horible, gruesome death imaginable. Think being bathed in slow-acting corrosive acid, or one of the horrific scenes from Hostel. Or my favorite, slogging down a big swig of liquid draino.

  5. David

    Niners fan here, cant stand the hawks either but this whole “we would of had a bye if we won this game” it was week 3, how about if the packers win against the Vikes in the final week or maybe win the giants game in week 12 instead? you LOST to the Hawks, face it, that whole game was badly officiated, it wouldnt of even came down to that final pass if they didnt call an invisible PI on the hawks during the final drive. Wish your team alot of luck in the future though, i really do.

  6. Hawk Fan Here

    @therealChuckywasCecil
    Yes it is.. not much to talk about. Melton and Starks both get tagged and its the same old mock talk.

    I’d be happy to get in a spirited discussion about Jennings. He’d look great in the blue and green.

  7. Belgaron

    How long Packers fans going to be wetting the bed about this? See a therapist, move on with your life.

  8. Shawn Iltarion

    Actually, and thankfully, the play had zero affect on shit.

    The 49ers still won the division and the Packers won theirs.

    I don’t think the Packers have better luck against the 49ers in Lambeau. So, its a good thing the game was in San Fran. Another playoff loss at home would have been more damaging to this team long-term.

    I still find it comical how Seahawk and other delusional fans refer to the two PI calls against the Seahawks and completely overlook what might have actually been the worst call in the game, which was the roughing the passer BS called on Walden that erased the all-but-game-ending INT by McMillian.

    • Phatgzus

      Yeah, or the 2 PI calls on shields, one that in reality was a no-call and the other an OPI on Rice; oh well, at lest the Seahawks didn’t win the SB.

  9. tim

    “wetting the bed” – I’m not sure that’s the whine here, it was an obvious wrong call by a boob wearing zebras who shouldn’t have been there in the first place. I blame it on the league trying to save a nickel hiring octogenarians to officiate fleet footed athletes in split second decision rulings. One of these things is not like the other as they say. Seeing this dope trying to sell a book or speak at rotary dinners really shows how desperate and dumb the general public is to be entertained – but then again, we all tuned in to see him “officiate” a game, now didn’t we.

  10. FITZCORE1252

    H.F.H. – you are correct, there were “SO” many more piss-poor calls in that game. Sam Shields laughable P.I.(s) that were nothing more than text-book blanket coverage as Phatgzus mentioned, or as Iltarion so kindly pointed out, the absolutely inexcusable R.T.P. on Walden that negated the McMillian pick deep in SeaChicken territory late in the 4th…. Oh, CM3 should’ve drawn a holding call on 50% of the snaps… That’s a conservative estimate.

    GBP 4 LIFE

    BTW – I hope you bums don’t grab Jennings. Hate to see him go there to die.

  11. Don Q

    Clearly Mr. Hawk fan feels a shred of guilt over that abomination of a call. Why else would a Seahawks fan waste their time on totalpackers? Maybe he didn’t get enough hugs from his daddy? It doesn’t make you a bad guy for being insecure, but a spade’s a spade. Don’t cry :’(

    • Hawk Fan Here

      I googled seahawks and this is the first article that came up.

      I don’t have a shred of guilt. If anything the football gods owed us one. But I can now say I have a new group of fans to despise. You people have the same amount of dignity as the jackass who wrote this stupid article. Get over it. Tough luck. Happens to every team. No need to send him DEATH THREATS. Jesus you people are crazy

  12. Shawn Iltarion

    Happens to every team?

    Yeah, every team has caught an interception to end a game only to have it ruled a touchdown. Happens all the time.

    It is called humor, mon. If you are taking this 100% seriously, then the joke is on you.

  13. Steven

    He’s talking about that bad calls happen to every team and it does. Okay, we get it, it was a really bad call, get over it. The season is over. Neither the Packers or Seahawks won the the Superbowl.

    Wishing death on an official just because he made a bad call in a GAME? It’s just a game and second, what would you expect from a high school level official in the final play of an NFL game?

    Also, if you Packers fans had been the team that benefited from a bogus call, I’m pretty sure you’d take the win regardless of guilt. I’m a Seahawks fan and I admit it’s bogus. The result is the result. We have no say in it. I just accepted it and you all should too.

    I don’t get how some of you call Pete Carroll and Golden Tate are d-bags for doing their jobs. Golden Tate tried to make a play, he didn’t make the call. I guess trying to make a play for your team is being a d-bag. And what do you want Carroll to say? They should have lost? Yeah, that’s really a good way to lead a team and be a good coach…

    • E. Wolf

      Wishing death on an official just because he made a bad call in a GAME? It’s just a game. . ..

      It is just a game to Seahawks fans because your franchise is so pathetic. Football is not just a game to diehard Packers fans, it is something of great importance to us. Sometimes it is the MOST important thing of all. The Green Bay Packers transcend the existence of such expansion-team fare as your disgraceful team. The Packers do not only have history, tradition and mystique, they DEFINE it, residing in the cathederal of football, Lambeau Field, with the ubiqituous presence of that sacred oval G emblazoned on those gold helmets, adorned in green and gold uniforms that will remain essentially unchanged until the end of time. How fitting that one could gaze at that perfectly designed, sacred d G logo until doomsday. Bold, yet, simple and austere, it has an almost mesmerizing appeal to it.
      I AM from Seattle, I know the Seahawks intimately. The Seahawks are a perennial punchline, a joke, engrained in the DNA of Seattlites. Just search for Almost Live Seahawks on youtube and you will behold some classic comedy gold, local Seattle style.
      And yes I wish very horrible things on that man. If a cancer stricken Packer fan who has but weeks to live took such things in his own hands, I’d go out and celebrate with prodigious quantities of gin and tonic. I did the same thng when Jacko died. Why, because that is how I roll.

  14. Steven

    First off, if your team had been in Seattles position and they won because of a bogus call, I’m pretty sure you would take the win even if it is a bogus call. So I am disgraceful because I admit that it’s bogus and I accept the win? What am I suppose to do? Keep saying that we lost the game? Okay, we did lose that game without the bogus call but guess what? The season is over. You wouldn’t have won the Superbowl anyways. Your defense apparently doesn’t know what a read option is. Kaepernick destroyed you guys, and probably would in Lambeau too.

    Yeah, Seattle is a perennial punchline? That’s funny because I’m pretty sure they weren’t last year and the years that they made the playoffs. Oh yeah, you allowed 9 sacks to this “punchline” of a team.

  15. E. Wolf

    Watch Almost lives many skits lampooing that shitstain of a team. The Green Bay Packers have 13 titles, including four Super Bowl titles, Vince Lombardi, Bart Starr, Don Hudson, Nietzschke, Number Four, the list goes on [and on]. You guys have Zorn to Largent, Chuck Knox, a less than illustrious super bowl appearance, and this. That’s all you have.
    That’s the difference between truly great teams and pretenders. The pretenders are about just here and now, the great teams are about history and legacy.

  16. Don Q

    Seahawks fans remind me of Viking fans. Pretentious asses that think their futile no-history/ no-accomplishment team is worth defending to the death. By the grace of God may sink holes be underneath their shithole stadiums.

  17. Steven

    First of all, you do have more titles than us, more hall of fame players than us, and more success. I mean it’s not like you guys haven’t been around since 1919 or anything. I mean, you guys have an extra 57 years on us for crying out loud. No wonder you have more of a tradition and legacy than us.

    Yeah, my team is worth defending because it’s my favorite team and I love them just like you guys love your team. Why is that a bad thing? Because we don’t have the accolades that your team does? Give me a break. It’s obvious that all this spewed hatred is in light of the fact that we won that game vs you guys last year. Get over it. It didn’t really change the end result, which is winning a superbowl so yeah.

    I’m done arguing with you idiots. Apparently your Packers are more important than life itself so I’ll leave you guys be. While I enjoy my life, I guess you guys will just be on here talking about the “great” legacy of the Packers. I mean, it IS the most important of ALL.

    Peace out Butt Packers. :)

    • E. Wolf

      No one knows what would have happened had this game been decided correctly. Who knows, perhaps our beloved Packers would have had less urgency against the Saints and Texans, and lose both of those games. Perhaps they do not and the Vikings or someone else beats the 49ers. I do not know–you do not know.
      What I do is that your coach, players and many of your fans actually gloated about this in remarkably tone-deaf fashion. This occured and continues to occur in the face of incontrervtible photopraphic and video evidence that this was very clearly wrongly called, perhaps qualifying as the worst call EVER.
      This conduct demonstrates precisely what I mean about the Seahawks.
      Which teams are more of a shistain than teh Seahawks? Probably the Cardinals, they were kicked out two cities, have the worst overall legacy. Even the Browns had Paul Brown and some ofthe titles before the merger. Oh I guess maybe the Lions are more pathetic. Titans are arguably there too. That is all I can name. Not even the Vikings and Bills are as sad as your team.
      Yes we have some 57 years more than you, that is because we are that primordial ancient power of the NFL. It is often said that in sports you have:

      -The New York Yankees
      – Boston Celtics
      – Montreal Canadiens AND

      (wait for it)

      THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!

      To state the obvious difference that we have been around longer is like saying the difference between the celtics or yankees versus some expansion team upstart is that they have been around longer. Of course we do, that is part of the secret of our mystique and aura. That, and that they (and we) win CHAMPIONSHIPS.
      I fucking love this team more than anything, for all the reasons I stated. This fucking douchebag realyl put my team behind the eight ball–and for that I hope someone stabs him in the throat with a rusty icepick infected hepatitis b or typhoid. And too many of your fans players and even the coach have said the wrong thing too many tmes. As a native Seattlite I take solace knowing that the Seahawks are an absolute disgrace, a bad joke engrained in the DNA of every Seattlite, including yours truly. That is one reason why I embrace that sacred, glorious Packers Oval G logo that will NEVER CHANGE, unlike your castoff expansion team with its merry go round in uniform fads.

  18. Steven

    The coach and players can’t be blamed for that. They don’t want to hear it. They had no control over what the Refs decided. It’s understandable that they’d just accept the win and move on to next week. I mean, it was a monday night game so they were on a short week already.

    I don’t get why you guys dwell on this. It makes no sense to me. It didn’t cost you a championship, it cost you just a game. It took this to get the real referees back. You never know, maybe if that call didn’t happen, the Packers could have been screwed over later on in a more important game like a divisional game.

    I really don’t care what you say about my team. They have been been rebuilding and are on the right track. They have a top 5 defense, a top notch run game, a young franchise quarterback, with one of the best home field advantages in the NFL. They were in EVERY game last year, win or lose. I’m glad to be a Seahawks fan, regardless of whether you see them as the “shit-stain” of the NFL. Clearly that bogus call still rubs you the wrong way.

    I don’t see Seattle as a disgrace. If anything, they gained RESPECT last year. They beat the Patriots, Vikings, Bears, and BEAT DOWN the 49ers. They stayed toe to toe with the Packers too. Regardless of calls, they played really solid defense against you guys and you can’t deny that.

    I’m gonna stop going on this site now. I’ve made my points. I’ve made numerous valid points but that call still stings too much for you.

  19. E. Wolf

    Oh and we focus on it (I would not say dwell) because this shitstain of a human being insists on writing a book about fucking over our team. That’s why I wish him ill will, to say the least.

  20. Don Q

    I love how this Seahawk puke is calling Packer fans out for dwelling on that call when he’s redundantly arguing his useless points. I’m over it and excited for next year. Fuck those seafoam green dicks. GO PACK GO!

  21. Savage57

    Thanks to all of you for an entirely over-the-top, impassioned, vitriol and insult-laced string.

    All Seattleians, Seattleites (do our TV signals go through there?), or whatever the hell you’re called, keep this shit up and you will join the pantheon of hated Bears and Queens fans that come here to get owned.

    All Sconni’s (see, isn’t that easier) and others from all points of the compass who support the most kick-ass NFL franchise in existence, thank you for your loyal support and defense of our beloved Packers.

  22. FITZCORE1252

    I’m in Olympia… H.F.H. and Stephan, I will drive the 45 minutes up I5 to slap a bitch. Belee dat. Keep your Wang-suckers shut and move along.

    GBP 4 LIFE

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *