Brian Urlacher

It’s not really Brett Favre leaving the Green Bay Packers, but it’s kind of a lesser version of that. The Chicago Bears and the face of their crappy franchise, linebacker Brian Urlacher, got divorced yesterday.

Urlacher is a free agent and, not surprisingly, not a very attractive one. Jermichael Finley called it right when he said Urlacher was old and slow, last season. Still, he wants to play in 2013 and apparently, it was the Bears duty to bring him back because of the whole face of the franchise thing.

The two sides went through the motions of a contract negotiation and ended up pretty far apart. We’re guessing Urlacher wanted to be paid like he’s still a top-flight linebacker. The Bears reportedly only offered him a one-year, $2 million deal, which may as well have included a new suitcase, plane ticket and thank you card.

Urlacher said he felt insulted. The Bears announced they were moving on.

“We were unable to reach an agreement with Brian and both sides have decided to move forward,” Bears General Manager Phil Emery said in a statement. “Brian has been an elite player in our league for over a decade. He showed great leadership and helped develop a winning culture over his time with the Bears. We appreciate all he has given our team, on and off the field. Brian will always be welcome as a member of the Bears.”

Blah, blah, blah.

The real question now is, are we going to see an old, slow Brian Urlacher playing in some uniform that looks really weird on him? Urlacher in another uni would probably be akin to seeing Johnny U in the Chargers’ powder blue.

Seems like something the Minnesota Vikings would do — sign Urlacher. You know, just because that’s the kind of shit the Vikings do.

In reality, there’s probably little to no market for Urlacher. Donald Driver — a guy who knows a thing or two about being in this position — said he thinks Urlacher will retire, which seems to be the logical option.

Something tells us Urlacher will get a deal somewhere and play another year just to give the Bears a nice fuck you for insulting him, though.