Aaron Rodgers on The Office

Here’s another one of those exhausting reports about how the Green Bay Packers are getting closer to a contract extension with quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

Reporter: You getting any closer to a deal with Aaron Rodgers?
Packers source: Well, yeah, I guess I’d say we’re little closer than we were last week.
Reporter: Sweet! That’s a story! Roll the presses!

So yeah, you knew the Packers were working on a new deal for Rodgers and some time has gone by since you heard that, so unless time now works in reverse, logic would tell you the two sides are closer to consummating that deal than they used to be. That is, unless Rodgers is treating it like a corporate negotiation, felt slighted, threw his documents in his briefcase, closed it and walked out.

We doubt that happened though.

So is there any information in these latest reports that an idiot couldn’t figure out by simple deduction? Why yes, my dear Watson, there is.

It’s that Rodgers is going to get around $25 million per season. This is higher than the previously-reported figure of $23 million per season and it’s about $5 million more than Little Joey Flacco makes per season.

Most importantly, it will allow Rodgers to buy a shitload of RVCA t-shirts and Volcom hats. Or maybe he can even upgrade his wardrobe from that of a 17-year-old snowboarder. Who knows?

The possibilities are nearly endless.