Packers Dispatch the Vikings Like We Knew They Would

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John Kuhn

John Kuhn

The Green Bay Packers handled the Minnesota Vikings on Saturday night. We all knew this would happen and it did — by the score of 24-10.

It wasn’t even as close as the score would suggest.

But let’s get this out of the way. The Vikings played without their starting quarterback, Christian Ponder, who sat out with an injured elbow. Would that have made a difference?


Should Ponder have played?

We’re talking about playoff football. Yes, he should have played. This isn’t what you get paid for, this is where you earn your keep. This is where you play through pain. This is where you prove you’re a man. This is where you build your legacy.

But Ponder didn’t play. Joe Webb started at quarterback for the Vikings instead. This is a guy who hasn’t started a game since 2009.

If you’re keeping score, that was Brett Favre‘s last season. And so…

The Packers beat the shit out of the Minnesota Vikings just like everyone outside of Minnesota expected them to. It didn’t start as anticipated — the Vikings marched down the field after receiving the opening kickoff and went up 3-0.

From there, it went pretty much to form.

The Packers scored 17 unanswered going into halftime, relying on some tough DuJuan Harris running and some pinpoint Aaron Rodgers‘ passing.

Rodgers was 23-of-33 for 274 and a touchdown on Saturday night. The Packers didn’t need anything else from their main man.

Green Bay added another touchdown in the third quarter to go up 24-3 and coasted from there.

So let’s get down to brass tacks.

Rodgers made the plays he needed to.

The Vikings offense — also known as Adrian Peterson — didn’t.

Peterson, who, granted, is a stud, only ran for 99 on 22 carries after gouging the Packers for 409 rushing yards in the previous two games this season. That means the Packers defense did their job. They certainly weren’t going to be beat by Webb and that scenario never became an issue.

If you look at the game stats alone, you’d probably expect that this game was close.

The Vikings were better on third down and had a higher yards per play average than the Packers. They also had three turnovers.

Those were fumbles by Marcus Sherels and Webb and a late pick by Webb. Clay Matthews ripped the Webb fumble and essentially ended any shot the Vikings had when he did so.

So let’s get on to some real playoff football, huh?

Packers at 49ers — that’s the real deal. As sweet as it is to crush those asshats from Minnesota, it’s time to wash our hands of that and start focusing on Colin Kaepernick, Frank Gore and company.

That’s the real deal.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

108 Comments on "Packers Dispatch the Vikings Like We Knew They Would"

  1. Kozak

    Did anyone expect anything different?
    I mean besides childish, retarded, chili farting, knob bobbing Queens loser so called fans? No of course not.
    It’s the tale of 2 trophy cases, GB has one, Queensland doesn’t.

    It’s the playoffs where Green Bay rules and Purple turds drool.
    The Vikes haven’t sniffed a Superbowl since Carter and Disco, with 5 straight NFC title losses in a row to go with their 4 Superbowl squats.

    Now that that little exhibition is over the Packers need to get ready for a real football team. If they can get past next week I love their chances of making the Superbowl….

  2. Phatgzus

    “We’re talking about playoff football…’This is where you build your legacy.'”

    May want to cite Rodgers on that.

  3. mike r

    Now where is that that douche Vikings fan talking about how they own us now. Vikings played their best game last week, and it would have taken the same effort and a total packers collapse for them to get the win. It’s pretty obvious who the best team is, Joe Webb, ponder, whichever shitty qb is starting. Suck my balls Vikings fans.

  4. E. Wolf

    Did anyone expect anything different?

    Until Ponder was benched, I was worried about this. Whenever the Vikings are competitive, they bring it when they play us. Even in off years, more often than not its close.
    I am really impressed with the adjustments Dom Capers and the defense made.
    In the end, it may be a good thing we lost against the Vikings in Week 17. First, it brings them just far enough to cut their hearts to pieces. That’s always a good thing.
    Beyond that, this game sort of provided a “live fire’ drill to prepare for the 49ers, who also have a phyiscal defense and an excellent runnng game.
    Finally, the loss reminded them that they cannot simply expect to win.
    Go Pack! Vikings (and their fans) REST IN PISS!

    • Mike R

      Here’s the summary of Chris’ arguments:

      1. You guys suck
      2. You guys are gay
      3. We own you
      4. Your championships don’t count, but we still have none
      4. Jared Allen’s mullet
      5. AP, bitch

      They all have a common theme, no facts involved what so ever, and about the weakest arguments you can make. I hope for Chris’ sake he is either 15 years old, or has some sort of mental retardation, because if he doesn’t he could be the biggest idiot in that shit hole of state MN. Almost forgot this one:

      6. Come argue with me on my facebook page.

      Go away loser.

    • Savage57

      It is a bitch being owned.

      Please stick around so we can continue to beat on you and abuse you like a cheap pinata.

  5. kristine restivo's mom

    please do not pick on my little girl kristine. her dikequeens lost to the almighty packers last night while she is in the middle of her period. she spent the entire night on her knees paying off bets to packer people. she cant wait for next year.

    I did help her masturbation problem though. We painted her labia yellow and green and she hasnt beaten it for years.

  6. nurseratchett

    If our D can hold Gore back like we did Peterson last night, we will avenge the San Fran loss at Lambeau next week.


      • Phatgzus

        The play where he tackled Peterson by the head, awesome; hope he plays like this for the rest of the playoffs.

      • nurseratchett

        I know right? Problem with Walden is consistency…or lack there of. Maybe Wood being back in from a leadership standpoint is a good thing for Eric.

        Whatever it was, keep it up D! Keys to the San Fran game will be the same–O-line & defense. Control the line of scrimmage on BOTH sides of the ball, we win.

  7. the real russ letlow

    division games are always tough, and in the playoffs even tougher. the purple pussies played the absolute best game of their season (the last 3 seasons, really) last week against us, and still only won by a late FG. At their home. with all of the manufactured purple pussy noise in their purple pussy dome. In the REAL playoffs, we owned them last night. Beat them up and took their lunch money too. I would think the Pack has a ton of motivation to play SF next week, with Aaron leading the way. GO PACK GO!

    • Mike R

      Oh and:

      7. Fudge Packers…
      8. Your opponents team’s quarterback is way better than Rodgers . the league MVP, superbowl champion, and superbowl MVP (these are called facts Chris).

      See above comments. Thanks for further proving my theory.

    • shouldapickedRubio

      it’s okay Chris, like all queen fans you must have a back up team to cheer for or maybe two…I bet you’ve always loved the Broncos, if they lose then I bet you’ve always had a soft spot for the Patriots, hell, if the Pack doesn’t win it all your team will probably win the superbowl!

  8. Chris Restivo

    Hahahaha I’m not from Minnesota bitch. I’m from Baltimore, and I was never fan of the gay ass Ravens ever. Talk about a shirty fanbas there! Whatever Wisconsin is the West Virginia of the Midwest.

    • Kozak

      And Baltimore is the Detroit of the East Coast.
      What not enough criminals and thugs on the Ravens , you have to slurp Viking cock to feel bad?

  9. Chris Restivo

    I got a good life, and I get lots of girls, and I do well for myself. What do you have besides those whack ass Packers? Aka a JOKE team. You played dirty against us, and most teams.

  10. Mike R

    As a general rule of thumb, anyone that needs to tell others they do well for themselves, gets women, works really hard, is really talented, etc., is none of the above (please save the explanation as to why you are in fact all of the above, no one cares or believes you).

    Enjoy the offseason. There is a lot to look forward to next year for you. You are pretty much set at the QB position, so you just need a couple small pieces to have a championship caliber team.

    I am now done with you.

  11. Chris Restivo

    Bitch please you know the Wire? I grew up 5 minutes from there. I was poppin bottles at 14 with mad girls in my hot tub

    • Kozak

      Bet you was selling the WMD and banging wif Omar.
      Wait since Omar was the gay character it DOES make sense.

    • Mike R

      hahahaha! nice find. yeah he was poppin’ bottles.

      Jessie freakin’ Pinkman, poppin’ bottles with mad girls in his hot tub, yo. just doing whoes, and big pimpin’. keepin’ it real Chris.

      Not sure what else to say other than, what a huge loser. shocker he is a vikings fan.

      • nurseratchett

        I’m sure the girls were only mad after he took off his pants. We women get annoyed if we get all loose on booze & ready “to go” only to realize you’re stuck with the short end of the stick!

    • E. Wolf

      That’s his grandma fer chrissake. I guess even Vikings fans love their grandmother–and that’s too bad because I hate to acknowledge the humanity of Vikings fans. The guy is still a whigger. He has girly arms too.

  12. Savage57


    If you have a sense of shadenfreud (revel in others pain and misfortune), want to see what it’s like when mad dogs start to snap and bite at each other and have 15 minutes to waste, go over to the Minn Star Tribune website and read the transcript of the in-game chat among Queens fans.

    Especially revealing is the early pre-game smack about how bad the ass-kicking is going to be for the Pack, and then fast forwarding to the chat section that covers the 4th quarter and you get to read all these sad fucks excuses for their team.

    • E. Wolf

      Thanks for the tip! Can you provide a link?
      Their tears of angusih SUSTAIN me. I should want to lap the sweet tears from their cheeks as they cry. Their sadness is such sweet, sweet nectar.
      I cannot wait to listen to Paul Allen tomorrow.
      I love the Pack, hate the Vikings. When I even think of the latter, I feel as if I am coming down with the rage virus from 28 Days Later–except in this instnace it is the “uninfected” who are the diseased.

    • Phatgzus

      “The Vikings did well to play the idiot savant role.”

      -More like just idiots, and they weren’t playing at that.

      “Webb [h]as a great game – Vikes win by 10. Can you imagine the talk radio discussions all week on who should start in SF next week!!”

      “Packers fans heads will implode if they lose this one.”

      -Good thing they romped the Purple Peter Eaters then.

      “Thank you, sir … GOsh, a mass cheesehead implosion — imagine all that Cheez Whizz all over the “Hallowed ground of Lambeau Field”

      -Pretty sure the aforementioned ‘Cheese Whizz’ is all over the Vikings and their fans’ faces after last night’s ‘explosion’.

      “I’m in La Crosse, and if we win, I’m going downtown just to watch the Packer fans cry and throw beer bottles.”

      -I’m guessing he hid in his mother’s basement all night and cried himself to sleep.

      “Is it true that Webb is wearing his superman shield tshirt under his jersey??? :)”

      -It’s true he was, unfortunately his right arm’s made of kryptonite.

      “Lots of people criticizing Ponder for not playing tonight…I think it is foolish…he started all 16 games…”

      -So did Favre, with a broken thumb, and again with a torn biceps. So did Rodgers, only people realized he’s playing because he actually did something of note.

      “I remember girls in grade school pushing their greasy hair behind their ear like that (In reference to Matthews).”

      -They were probably sweaty from beating him up.

      “Passes … we don’t need no stinking passes!”

      -Not if your QB is a distant relative of someone named Spud.

      “This Webb kid is not bad,”

      -Two years of Christian Ponder as your QB will make this sound like a reasonable statement.

      “I don’t think we have to throw a single pass to win this.”

      -Not if you have the best RB in the past 20 years, oh, waaait.

      “Does one endzone in GB smell less like vomit than the other?”

      -Nope, ’cause he’s not in it.

      “Can we be any more sick of this state farm commercial… it has been playing all season loooooooooooooooooooooong!”

      -Lol, who can get enough Aaron Rodgers? Oh yeah, fans of the ‘team’ he dismantles every season.

      “We are a better team, just getting out=coached right now…”?

      -Yes, the better team usually loses.

      “I am out of here. I cant watch this hogwash any longer. It was fun this year guys…….. See you next year over and out!”

      -8:17 into the second quarter and Vikings fans are already giving up on the season, I guess all Vikings fans are not extremely mentally deficient.

      “Nice job Vikes why do i bother watching[?]”

      -Not even God knows the answer to that, masochism, maybe?

      “I miss Denny Green.”

      -Welcome to the misery of being a Vikings fan, nostalgia for the Denny Green years.

      “Hey Packer fan… least our women rock…..Lynx, one world championship!!! Take that[.]

      In response to: [Packer Fan] Last 20 years: Green Bay Packers: 2 Super Bowl Titles, 3 NFC Championships, 4 MVPs, NFL’s best overall record. Wisconsin Badgers: 3 Rose Bowl wins, 6 Big Titles, 1 Heisman trophy. Minnesota Vikings & Minnesota Golden Gophers: Umm…

      -Sorry ladies, Minnesotans, and lady Minnesotans (if there are any such things), women’s ‘basketball’ is not a sport.

      let’s fantasize for a moment: the Vikes somehow come back tonight, then get some long needed revenge on the Falcons next week for the ’99 NFC championship – the year we should have really won the Lombardi

      -Fantasizing: the only thing a Viking fan can do to keep from killing themselves.

      “Let’s debate what the Vikes can do to win this thing?!?!”

      -Make a deal with the Devil? Kill every Packer player?

      Halfway through the blow out, Vikings fans start talking about their other horrible franchises (Twins, Timberwolves), disparaging their best players not named Peterson, and long for the glory years of Favre and Rosenfels; lol so glad, nay, thankful, I am a Packers fan.

  13. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey

    Ugh, after looking through Chris’ photos on facebook I just feel bad now. This guy clearly has a learning disability or is developmentally disabled or something. He’s not all there, intellectually.

    He also hangs out with, pound for pound, the ugliest crew I’ve ever seen, holy shit

  14. Lynn fuckin' Dickey

    The only bottles this dipshit’s ever popped were amyl nitrates, because he is literally retarded

  15. Chris Restivo

    Bitch please, you know The Wire? One time I met a black person and I shit my pants because I’m a gangly little puss who wouldn’t know what to do with my weird little penis if a female ever completely lost her fucking mind and wanted to fuck my sad pathetic chode self

    i love cock om nom nom just huffin dong as the day is long, I wish Jared Allen would give me a mustache ride

    i want to fuck my cousins because they are the only halfway attractive women who will talk to me but only on thanksgiving Christmas and Easter tho

  16. Phatgzus

    I for one enjoy Chris’ presence, such a wonderful source of schadenfreudian amusement; please stick around Chris, you truly are a delight…to ridicule.

  17. Big Raj!

    Just saw Chris Restivos pictures. He looks like sheep fucking version of Kevin Federline. And he brags about his “mad girls”. Those girls have more gut then Kevin Williams. But maybe that’s hot in the cumstain of the north aka Minnesota.

  18. tedtomato

    Now thats some funny shit! Viqueer fans are the WORST bandwagon jumping homer fans. Kinda funny fans of a team that wears purple & pink with purple a homeless man for a cheerleader, & high football cheer calling other teams & fans of other teams gay. Go jerk off to your Gayred Allen posters on your OWN teams website!

  19. Landfill

    As a Viking fan the Pack were the better team last night in all aspects. Even with Ponder I think they still win. But to say that he wouldn’t have made a difference is foolish. Guy just threw for 3 touchdowns and no picks against the Pack 6 days earlier. Also, with Webb in the Pack could put their whole defense at the line instead of just 8 or 9. Injuries are part of football and it was the coaches decision to play Webb not Ponder’s. He had zero velocity on his passes in pre-game warmups. If Ponder is a pussy then so are both Woodson and Cobb for sitting out a game when they could have clinched a first round bye.

    • PackAttack

      Who cares, you lost — go home. Your season is over. Your fans and media pissed on Ponder ALL YEAR! All fucking year, now he’s your only hope?? AP got hit touches and yards — you MN fans are all full of bullshit excuses, all the fucking time. Nothing but excuses. You lost, GO HOME! You had ZERO business being in the playoffs, your a tier 2 organization and will continue to be that way for decades.

      Have fun playing at TCF Bank Stadium the next three years while AP’s career slowly fades away. Head on over to PJD’s broke website and talk about how to shovel snow and take naked pics of Vikings over the winter.

      Nice seeing you. Thanks for the scrimmage last night.

      • Landfill

        Please learn what an excuse is before of accusing me of making one. I clearly said that even with Ponder the Pack still win. Did you miss that part or can you not read. If you can’t read, I will gladly give you some lessons. Even when an opponents fan comes in here and gives props to the other team you still act as a 2nd grader, shown by your overuse of profanities to subsidize your “See Spot Run” level vocabulary.

  20. E. Wolf


    You sir are seriously disturbed, I like it.

    Disturbed, or passionate? I say the latter. You cannot have love without hate, just as you cannot have light without darkness. Break on through to the other side. Love the Pack–HATE the Vikings.

  21. Vijay

    Only problem I saw was the lackluster coasting in the 4th Quarter. They seemed to play at half speed which will not get it done from here on out. Gotta play all out 60 minutes of football on the road!! Go Pack!

  22. Shawn Iltarion

    I was very encouraged by what I saw from the defense last night. Regardless of who was at QB, the defense showed great gap control and gave AP no where to run with the football.

    Welcome back, Erik Walden! Glad to have you back!

    Also liked what I saw from Tramon and Shields. That is the kind of game we need from those guys.

    Playing against Joe Webb was actually a good warm up for Kaepernick.

    Not pleased with the offensive performance in the 2nd half. Terrible run blocking and near disinterest in the passing game. Offense if going to have to play better against a tough San Fran defense.

    • E. Wolf

      Yes, I have–and I am originally from Seattle and currently reside in Seattle. I have liked the Pack since I was in the third grade. That was in the 80’s, son, when they were horrible.
      I made the Holy Pilgrimage to hallowed Lambeau Field for the Dec 26 game against the Giants in 2010. In some ways I am a Muslim, for I have been to Mecca. There I beheld divinity: the Green Bay Packers!
      Btw, I saw lots of pretty midwestern type women there-so the stereotype about Wisconsin women just does not withstand scrutin.

  23. tedtomato

    No..the only fudge packer on here is you..funny how you pansies from that state rip our people and state..yet you think you have to vacation in our state. Ever been to the pussy dome..faggot?

  24. Ryan EC

    Best comment thread I’ve read in a while!

    Couldn’t be happier with this victory as a resident of western Wisconsin I have to put up with more then my share of purple puking Viking fans

  25. Chris Restivo

    Bwahahahaha Seattle is gonna KILL You guys. Trust me the Seahawks are SUPERIOR!!! You’ll beat the 49ers thats it. But y’all are getting ASS RAPED IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!!! Seahawks own that ass

  26. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey


    Seahawks are shit, barely beat a Redskins team with a crap defense and a QB who was literally playing with one leg. I ain’t scarred. Lombardi’s comin’ home again because WE OWN ALL ASSES

    Hey Chris shouldn’t you be jerking off to your delusional fantasies of popping bottles of purple drank in a filthy hot tub with a bunch of fat B-more girls who’d rank as 5’s, tops, in any other American city besides Detroit? What are you wasting time here for? Your poisoned seed’s not gonna rub itself out.

    • tequila

      At least everyone who has read one of your barely literate posts on this site agrees you are probably a half retard, and probably having sex with your sister. Please for all our sake don’t get her pregnant and possibly consider taking your own life.

  27. Cuban

    I think they wouldnt mind being called the softest team ever by three teams who they went a combined 6-1 against you dumb motherfucker

    • Kozak

      Yeah, you go home with her, she changes your Depends, wipes your ass, and lays out your meds and clothes. Then she leaves and does it for her next “special” client.

  28. E. Wolf


    Not gonna lie I’d hit the one in the sleevles black and the one in the blue; the rest shouldn’t reproduce.

    I think those are his cousins or other relatives, if ou are referincing the family pic.

  29. Carey Lynn

    Who the fuck is this troll kid on this page!? Lol wow he has the nerve to say Rodgers and Matthews both are gay? I’m a huge Packer fan from SoCal, and have made the trip out to the Tundra numerous times. Gosh Vikings fans are retards, and even as a chick the Packer female fanbase is quite fucking hot. I didn’t realize this stupid kid lived near the Hospital I work in. Man I hope I don’t get that idiot in there because I’d probably laugh at him behind my closed doors.

  30. Cuban

    Apparently hes not the only douchebag in his family, you see maverick in the back wearing the sunglasses indoors

  31. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey

    I’m sure she has a great personality, Chris

    Cause she sure ain’t turning any heads with her looks

    • E. Wolf

      A real llife Nelson Munz who has grown into a real man needs to punch you in the face for ‘besmirching a nice girl’s name.’

  32. Ryan EC

    You’re her favorite? That would imply that she’s getting more then one dick shoved in her… What an odd thing to say…
    Maybe she’s a prostitute and he’s paying her, and he visits so much that he’s her favorite. Or maybe he just always finishes so fast that her nickname for him is premo.
    Just a thought.

  33. Chris Restivo

    Alice is a caring and kind woman. Has a fantastic body is a 10!!! Show me a hotter girl you ARE dating.

  34. Ryan

    I was excited when I saw how many comments were on this post. I thought everyone would be excited about the Packers win and talking football. Instead, we are giving Chris exactly what he wants: attention. Why not just ignore him? That would be much more effective to “get him.”

  35. Tequila

    I agree with Ryan. Although we’ve been duped, it’s been fun. Not as much fun as beating down the Queens though.

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