2012 in (Mostly) Packers Broads
Everyone else is doing their Year in Review posts right about now. That’s because they’re lazy and don’t want to come up with original shit. But hey, we’re lazy and don’t want to come up with original shit, too! Why aren’t we doing Year in Review posts? Good question. We’re going to start to remedy that now, beginning with our favorite thing next to the Green Bay Packers — hot broads!
Here’s 2012 in broads — mostly Packers broads. Although, as we’ve learned — you don’t necessarily need to be a Packers fan to be gorgeous (although it helps).
And yes, if you click on the photo, you’ll get to a full gallery of goodness. We’re here to serve.
In late 2011, we met Aaron Rodgers‘ lady, Destiny Newton. In early 2012, we got to know more about her. As Ron Burgundy once said, “Maybe don’t wear a bra next time.” Check!
Not be outdone, Rodgers’ former backup Matt Flynn checked in with Miss Louisiana 2009 Lacey Minchew. Flynn went on to sign a pretty big free agent contract with Seattle, but then lost the starting job to former Wisconsin Badger Russell Wilson. Hey, two out of three ain’t bad, buddy.
The Super Bowl was in February and the Green Bay Packers didn’t play in it, despite going 15-1. In fact, that game featured two teams that absolutely no one likes. We’re not sure why they even bothered to play it. At least it gave us Televisa Deportes sports reporter Marisol González.
In April, Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher said, “Hey, what about me, bros!? I can still pull broads too, bro! Wanna get a barbed wire arm tattoo? They’re awesome!” And so Urlacher proved he can indeed still pull hot broads when he checked in with former Playmate of the Year Jenny McCarthy. Alas, it was not be, as the couple split up several months later. We’re told McCarthy is shithouse rat crazy. Surprising.
The NFL Draft was also in April and yeah, some guys got drafted. One of those guys was tackle Matt Kalil, who was taken in the first round by the Minnesota Vikings. No one paid attention though because everyone was staring at his mother Cheryl’s beautiful breasts. Oh, and we then learned that his sister Danielle is pretty nice to look at too. How the hell did a Minnesota Vikings offensive lineman come from that stock?
While we were waiting around for training camp to start in July, we checked in with former Georgia cheerleader Kelly Hall. Yes, she’s dating Detroit Lions quarterback Butterball, but she’s still hot. You can’t account for taste, after all. And if you were wondering if she’s still doing keg stands in her spare time, the answer is, “Of course, honey! Tee hee!”
Packers broads? Yeah, we’ve definitely got plenty of those too. These are the women you want to make your next ex-wife — hot and Packers fans. Just be careful because they’ll try to take your season tickets in the divorce.
The Packers are Peta Murgatroyd‘s team. Of course they are. With those legs, we’re not going to argue.
In October, we discovered model and Packers fan Mikaelaa West. Some people didn’t like her because she has tattoos. Some people are fuckin’ morons. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. And this one’s a Packers fan.
This is totally unrelated to football, but in November The Hebrew Hammer got engaged to model Larisa Fraser. He didn’t repeat as MVP and the Brewers missed the playoffs, but we’re gonna call it a wash for Ryan Braun in 2012.
Yes, he sucks at playing quarterback, but the Minnesota Vikings’ Christian Ponder made one decent play in 2012. He got engaged to ESPN reporter Samantha Steele. A few weeks later they were married. Hmmm… shotgun wedding? Ponder should play hockey. He can’t get into the end zone, but he may be able to slip one past the goalie.
On now on to the cheerleader portion of our program…
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.