The following was submitted by reader Brad Wysocke, who happens to be a Green Bay Packers fan living in Chicago. He originally posted this back in March. I asked him to remind me of it before we played the Bears this season. He did.
It’s awesome and spot on.
With that, here’s Brad’s Chicago Bears season timeline.
March and April – Overvalue every offseason move made. Commence proclamations of Super Bowl contention.
May through June – Steady stream of Ditka references and fudge-packer jokes. Guarantee division title to anyone who will listen.
July – Slip word ‘Bourbonnais’ in every single sentence uttered save unfounded accusations Aaron Rodgers is a homosexual.
August – Choose from two staple post-preseason game analyses: “We’re going to dominate the rest of the league this year.” (win) or “It’s just the preseason.” (loss)
September through November – Ebbs and flows of false hope and sheer panic. Question competency of Lovie Smith.
December – With worst fear of having nothing left to play for realized, openly denounce team. State intent to not watch another of the team’s games for the rest of the season. Begin search for cozy hibernation den.
January through February – Put off hibernation long enough to explain team should still be playing and winning a title. Blame crucial injury/bad call/unlucky bounce.