We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Seats!

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The Green Bay Packers are letting current season ticket holders change their seats. They can relocate to the new 600 and 700-level seats when the addition to Lambeau Field is complete.

Why would someone want to do this? Because these bad boys are actually chairs. They have backs, like pretty much every other seat in stadiums around the NFL.

The rest of the fans? They get to sit on the bleachers throughout the rest of the stadium like they’re at a high school football game. They get sore ass and back pain, which sucks.

Of course, relocating to the chairs isn’t a no brainer. It’s going to be cold up there. Your balls will probably freeze to the side of your leg, especially if you don’t shake well. And remember, when you get drunk, those 700-level seats are a long tumble. No rolling down the steps like in the rest of the bowl. You’re going to crack your skull on the section below when you take a drunken fall from the 700.

What would be nice is if the Packers would put chairs in the entire bowl. I mean, Candlestick Park even has chairs and that has to be the worst venue in all of sports.

(Image via KSK)

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

15 Comments on "We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Seats!"

  1. TyKoSteamboat


    This is professional football…there needs to be professional seating! It’s crazy!

    I’ve been to 12 games there now. I love it. But it’s way overrated. I am going to road games for now on…

    1.) Tickets are over-priced
    2.) It’s cramped
    3.) You WILL be seated by a fat-ass, or a mentally handicapped person, or at least 1 idiot, or someone with terrible hygine
    4.) All the dim bulbs go to the games. All the smart people stay home.
    5.) The bathroom situation is lousy at best

    I could go on & on…i think i’m gonna try Houston, St. Louis or Seattle this season until Lambeau gets some much needed upgrading.

    • Doug

      I’m fine with bleachers. If that packs more fans in, I’m all for it. If you need a seat back, just lean against the knees of the guy behind you. If you’re still having issues, kindly clean the sand out of your vag.

      And Tyko…Packer tickets are more expensive than only about 10 other teams in the NFL, so “overpriced” is not accurate. The bathroom situation at Lambeau is great. As someone else below said, have fun in St. Louis. Either you’re trolling, or an idiot. Most likely both.

  2. E. Wolf

    I have been to Lambeau just once, the Boxing Day game in 2010, which (unbeknownst to me, was the start of our most glorious, triumphant March on to Dallas to capture the Lombardi Trophy). It was one of the greatest experienecs in my life.
    In short, having metal bleahers are a complete NON FACTOR, or should be for real Packer fans. I am a bigger guy, am 6ft weigh about 225. I did not mind the bleachers at all
    The only reason why I think it could be a big deal is if someone is reall quite older, in which case they probably ought to stay home. Sitting in single digit temps for four hours is not exactly for the faint of the heart.

  3. Pack Lethal

    They rent bleacher cling chairs for the Packer fans with vaginas. Man the fuck up. If you can’t sit on a bleacher seat for 3 hours then you need to pee sitting down like the woman you are.

    • E. Wolf

      Renting the beacher chairs is probably wise in November and December., because of the low temperatures.

  4. therealChuckywasCecil

    When Lambeau was remodeled in 2002-3 there were inquiries about actual seats. Because of building codes and the space required, installing seats in the bowl would have reduced capacity meaning thousands of season ticket holders would have been axed. With a waiting list as long as the Packers have and the outcry from season ticket holders that would be denied, it was not an option. The price we pay for our little slice of football history/heaven.

    I guess by the description above I am a fat-ass, mentally handicapped, dim bulb who doesn’t use deodorant, but I do behave, don’t curse or spill beer on others and don’t pass as much judgement on others as TyKoSteamboat. Enjoy that trip to St. Louis.

  5. Pack Lethal

    TyKo dude if you plan on going to Houston, Seattle, or St. Louis be ready to pay $200+ for a halfway decent seat. You will always sit next to fucktards no matter where you go. (especially at the metrodome) I question you as a Packer fan if Lambeau isn’t good enough for you. Look at how loyal Red sox fans are, they play in a complete dump. Lambeau is a Ritz Carlton compared to Fenway. Come on man!?

  6. Asimov

    As previously alluded to, if you don’t want bleachers, you lose over 10,000 seats switching to chairs. That’s the number they provide on the Lambeau tour.

  7. Shawn iltarion

    Hey, chairs might be nice, but no use crying over what will never happen.

    The whole reason for the expansion is to ADD seating. If you go to chairs, you go the opposite direction, which would make no sense.

    The bathroom situation is sweet. Not sure what the hell you are talking about there. Maybe you should have visited Lambeau back in the day, when you had the trough, then you’d appreciate the heated urinals now.

    I have attended games at Lambeau since the Snow Bowl against Tampa in the 80s, and I have never had any issues with the people around me.

    Allowing people to trade their bleacher spots for the new chairs is a great idea. Maybe that will get some of the older fans out of the middle of the bowl, which is a drag on the rest of us.

  8. Vijay

    Mark Murphy said they’d lose something like 12,000 seats if they replaced the bleachers with chairs…that’s not good for the bottom line.

  9. PackerBoB

    I got season tickets in the 16 row, 35 yard line, Packer side. I ain’t going anywhere. I’ll gladly freeze my butt off on those metal bleachers. I’m dumb like that..

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