Adrian Peterson

Remember when the only halfway decent player on the Minnesota Vikings — running back Adrian Peterson — tore his ACL last year? Well, Peterson has been trying to practice even though he had surgery on December 31.

He has also vowed he’ll be ready for the season opener. The Vikings started training camp with Peterson on the physically unable to perform list, but have since removed him from that list mostly because he told them to and as we all know, the Vikings have no balls.

Obviously, Adrian Peterson is trying to rush back from the injury. Everyone knows this, except for Adrian Peterson. It will probably result in Peterson reinjuring himself, the Vikings being worse than even we thought they could be and everyone laughing.

In the meantime, the Vikings are letting Peterson practice, with one caveat.

Jamarca Sanford on orders given to the D about Adrian Peterson: “The rules are simple. Do not touch 28. If you touch him, you’re cut.”

Ah, completely logical. We’re sure that will get the defense ready to play on Sundays.

Let’s hope that stupid hillbilly Jared Allen touches Peterson in the next few days. We’d like to see what the Vikings do then.