Adrian Peterson Failed Math

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Adrian Peterson

Remember Adrian Peterson? He was the latest in a long line of Minnesota Vikings dirtbags to get arrested when he was popped for resisting arrest last weekend.

On Friday, he made his first court appearance and demonstrated his mathematical genius. Upon his exist from the courtroom, Peterson told the media he’s “200 percent innocent.”

That’s no misprint, folks. Even though it’s not possible to be more than 100 percent of anything (except a percentage increase or decrease, of course), Peterson thinks he’s 200 percent innocent. That’s kind of like the percentage equivalent of going 360 degrees when you only need to go 180 and ending up right back where you started.

The Minnesota Vikings…

Ah, fuck it. It’s not even hard anymore.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

12 Comments on "Adrian Peterson Failed Math"

  1. DD

    There’s nothing more hilarious than reading what people were saying about the Packers and Rodgers prior to the Giants loss, like they were the best team and quarterback of all time. And then poof! With one giant dump on Lambeau Field, you don’t hear a peep about that crap (or for people in a Wisconsin, you don’t hear a morbidly obese, diabetes induced fart). THAT’S entertainment.

  2. Lynn fuckin' Dickey

    what’s up dd you mad we’re bagging on this idiot? You’re team will win a Superbowl eventually, but probably not until they move to LA

  3. Pack Lethal

    Lynn Fuckin’ Dickey, I wish there was a LIKE option for that comment fuck that DD piece of shit. Oh and I like the bubble that Adrian’s fuck face is saying. Eat shit Viking fans.

  4. Kristofer from Oshkosh

    Yeah, dd, I can tell there is some bitterness in your statement. Did our team beat your team? Your statement is a little over the top. I live about 40 mins from Green Bay and not once have I heard a Packers fan refer to that team before the Giants game as being the best team EVER. Not once, because we know the Packers teams of the 60s is a hard era to beat for best ever. I think you are just a little mixed up, its ok, we understand your frustration when you are a fan of a team like the Vikings. Sad, really. One more thing, why do you visit a Packers website if you are such a hater of the Pack? No life? Ok, thats what I thought.

    • DD

      I live in Wisconsin for a job and I have never seen a more pathetic group of sports fans anywhere, ever. 90 percent of them, fat retards. And you want to talk about people with no lives?

      I find the content of this website hilarious because it is so obsessively mean spirited towards other teams, but people like you can’t even handle a small jab at their own team so they start crying. Talk about hypocrisy.

      As far as what people were saying about the Packers prior to the Giants game, please read this article from Newsweek, take a look at the picture of the guy who wrote it, and then read the comments section. It’s hilarious: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/15/aaron-rodgers-the-nfl-s-best-quarterback-of-all-time.html

      • Ivomitonvikingfans

        Mean spirited? NO SHIT. It’s a fan website, that is what it’s for. Take a peek at Purple Jesus Diaries and you will see the same level of hatred directed at Packers, Bears, and Lions fans. It just so happens that we as Packer Fans can tinge our hate-posts with a little arrogance because we are able to regularly enjoy championship level football. Whereas you as Viking fans are only able to flavor your venom with envy, homoeroticism (particularly obvious in your case) and self-hatred.

        Also, I don’t think anyone is “crying” because you posted yet another “Aaron Rodgers is gay” post. We here at Total Packers are quite secure with our gender identities, unlike you, whose inner turmoil screams out in every lame comment.

        So, in the spirit of fansites everywhere, go back to your dog and jar of peanut butter. Fuck the Vikings!!!!

  5. Mike R

    DD, if you’re going to come and stir shit up, you have to have something a little more substance than Aaron Rodgers is gay and WI people are fat. I am just as disgusted by fat-asses as anyone, and WI has plenty of them, just like the rest of the fat-ass country. WI ranks right in the middle actually at 25. If you’re not a Vikings fan, then you have to be a Bears or Lions fan. Statistically, IL and MI have more bluberry piles of crap than WI. So enough of the WI is all fat people take. Saying Aaron Rodgers is gay is about as week as it gets. I stopped using that line when I was in 6th grade. Plus we all know he is not gay, in fact, he’s probably banging some hot chick right now. But, if I knew my team had another 6+ years of being dominated by Rodgers, I would probably be a bit upset too.

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