Scott Wells

No, this isn’t your typical Green Bay Packers news, but it’s pretty important nonetheless.

Aaron Rodgers loves center Jeff Saturday‘s ass. Scott Wells‘ too.

We know you’re intrigued, so we’ll explain. And don’t worry, Rodgers isn’t done slaying bitches. He did take some time to explain what makes an ideal center this past week, though.

Ass height and lack of ass sweat.

“There’s two main components that a center needs to have, and it’s not quickness or agility or snapping or anything,” Rodgers said. “It’s two things: One, he has to have a good height, and I’m talking about where his butt rests. It can’t be too low because I don’t wanna get deep in that stance and it can’t be too high so I feel like I’m standing up. It’s gotta be just right. [Jeff Saturday has] got that. … Scott Wells, my previous center [and] Jeff Saturday — great height. Great butt height. … And the second is most important, and that’s sweating. How much do they sweat? The worst thing that you can have is third, fourth quarter on a October day where it’s 65, 70 degrees and he’s sweating through his pants. Because that is not a situation you wanna be in.”

Okay, so Wells, Saturday — good. Who isn’t? Evan Dietrich-Smith.

Rodgers claims Dietrich-Smith sweats so much when he’s in the game he has to change his pants at halftime.

You think that’s a glandular problem?