Caption This Jay Cutler Photo Please

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Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is just out walking his rat dog in a pair of sweatpants he probably stole from his fat-ass fiance and wants to be left alone.

Can’t a man get any privacy?!

Ah, Cutty. At least you combed your hair.

Cutler is evidently flipping off the paparazzi here. Why the paparazzi are concerned about Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari, we’re not quite sure.

Anyway, caption this bitch. Put your caption in the comments. We’ll choose the best captions and let you pick a winner. Then we’ll send the winner something. What? Does it really matter? We’ve got all kinds of Green Bay Packers crap laying around that needs a good home.

Plus, there’s always pride, people. Pride!

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

83 Comments on "Caption This Jay Cutler Photo Please"

  1. Packman

    “My bitch wife’s pregnant, so now looking at her doesn’t make up for having to talk to her. Fuck you, let me have my moment alone.”

  2. Shmoseph

    “Fuck you guys, leave us alone!! I need this dog to shit so I can go back to watching gay porn!!!”

  3. Duane

    Whoever our Center is this year I’m gonna give him this one up the ass just like I used to do to Kreutz. That’s how me & my Bears’ roll!

  4. Carl

    “Screw you guys! I know this little bulge in my sweat pants is proportionate to the size of this dog”

  5. DevilDon

    Hey you fuckers make me look like a cunt on the field, can I at least have a private moment to look like a cunt off of it?

  6. David

    “Caught in the Act… photographer catches local pick pocket on film. Victim declined to press charges citing pressing appointment to the gyno and scoop duties.”

    • Dean Sanders

      aw man, our team suck? or is it sux like your awesome screen name? Regardless, when I was scrolling through the comments, yours stood out to me because of the use of the word sophomoric (you actually used ‘sophmoric’ but i catch your drift) anyway, what better word to describe this picture, or more broadly speaking, Jay Cutler? Excellent diction Pack sux.

  7. Rex

    “Im still hurt and bleeding from the NFC championship loss….I just need one tampon.. can you help me?”
    -Jay Cuntler

  8. Martinez

    “I don’t always do gay porn, but when I do I prefer this finger in me first.” – The most bitchiest man in sports

  9. Dean Sanders

    “Oh shit, they’ll be able to see the feint outline made by my small penis through these awesome sweatpants….I know! i’ll just distract their eye by flipping the bird and looking frickin awesome and badass like i always do …………nailed it. man, im the best….. now back to daydreaming of Kristin putting her thumb up my butt”

  10. Cheese

    “Could you prick my finger please…
    My vagina is all dried up so now I have to check my blood sugar the old fashion way.”

  11. Jack

    Is that a small pink dildo in his left hand…..and if so – considering the size – it must belong to the dog….guess he’s guy too…….

    Anyway, the caption: “Come home with me buddy and I’ll use this finger to please you”

    Bear down on these nuts Cutler….

  12. Savage57

    The constant finger banging up the ass, getting kicked everytime the fuckin’ Bears lose, watchin him walk around all day in pantyhose is bad enough, but those faggoty looking orange shoes are the last straw – I’ve fucking had it.

    If I pull on this leash just a little harder this slit doesn’t have a chance!

    Freeedddoooommmmm!

  13. Doug

    Pictured here, a whiny, hairy, small, slow bitch, who constantly needs to be told what to do and retreats into a corner when hit or there are loud noises. Also pictured, a dog.

  14. Zach

    I have sat on this finger all offseason. I was told it would help me lose weigh. It obviously hasn’t worked, and it smells like shit!

  15. shannon whitney

    Hi my name is jay cutler and I like making love to young puppies, so go now, and let me put my weenus inside this doggy

  16. Darrin

    “Jay signals how many times his fat wife Kristin has used the gravy boat some assholes got them for their wedding.”

  17. Kevin

    Hey guy…I want to shove this finger so far up your ass!!! But damn it, you better allow reach-arounds!

  18. Dan L.

    “Eff off, you’re all a bunch of idiots. Kristin said if I walked her dog, she and her ‘second cousin’ would let me sleep on the couch while he’s in town”.

  19. Majikman

    YUMMMMMM!!!!! Urlacher said it would taste like peanut butter.
    You see, I had just given little Spike his daily rectal exam when I noticed this soft, creamy, tan colored paste on this here middle finger of mine. It looked like the same stuff Urlacher gets on his finger when he does my daily rectal exam. He’s always told me I should try it and “Oh boy” was he right, it is good!

  20. Pingback: Vote: Best Jay Cutler Photo Caption | Total Packers

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