Roll Up The Moving Trucks, Minnesota!

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Big surprise. The morons in Minnesota who said they were going to build the Minnesota Vikings a new stadium have essentially reneged on what was supposed to be a done deal.

The stadium plan was defeated by a Minnesota House panel 9-6 on Wednesday. Of course, this is nothing new.

The Vikings have been clamoring for a new stadium for years. They have no intention of paying for it themselves, so they’re relying on the state legislature to chip in, which the state has been unwilling to do for years. This go-round, everything seemed to be in place for a new stadium. There was even a fancy drawing of this pie in the sky knockoff.

And now this. Well, fear not!

Even though Vikings ownership hasn’t said anything, the NFL was quick to threaten the state with relocation after the stadium plan went down in flames again. Oh, and this time they’re naming names.

“There are plenty of willing buyers. I think the Wilfs do not want to sell the franchise, but I think there is a point where they probably would be open-minded to listening to alternatives. To my knowledge, they have not been willing to do that at this point,” NFL Executive Vice President of Business Operations Eric Grubman told the Star Tribune.

“I think they’re running out of options and running out of patience. I doubt the commissioner would put probabilities or threaten or anything like that. But I would not be surprised if the commissioner tells the governor, if he asks, what other cities are interested in the Vikings because we are aware of that.”

Dun dun duuuun!

Now look, I wouldn’t want to keep a backwards franchise like the Vikings either. They’ve never won a Super Bowl and they’re never going to. All of their fans have an inferiority complex because the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears rule the division and that will never change. In fact, Vikings game day at the Metrodome always looks like a retard convention. Plus, most of their players are criminals.

It can’t be good for state pride.

But let’s be honest, the NFC North just wouldn’t be the same without our most despised rival. I mean, kicking people from Detroit while they’re down just isn’t fun anymore.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

23 Comments on "Roll Up The Moving Trucks, Minnesota!"

  1. Tkhelland

    If they were to leave the would re structure the NFC North to add the rams and the west would get the Vikes. Atleast that would make sense. Either way tho as much as I hate the purple shit heads it wouldn’t be the same and we would have former Vikes fans starting to Don the green and gold. That’s just a down right shame.

  2. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey

    Such mixed emotions, I’m so conflicted. It’d be the ultimate kick in the nuts to MN but you’re right, I’d kind of miss the purple losers if they left.

    It’s a good rivalry, the NFL needs those (and more of them *cough NFC West AFC South *cough*)

  3. Kozak


    Jeff Ircink:

    SHUT UP!!!!

    ho dares to chak

    Wow. A more eloquent and reasoned argument has never been made. The man has a towering intellect and woe to him who dares challenge him to a battle of wit and subtle reparte or nuance. Well spoken sir, well spoken. Every bit what we expect from a fan of the Purple Losers.

  4. Abe Frohman

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! This is so unbelievably funny. First the Lakers. Then the Stars. Now the Vikings. What’s even funnier is that the Twins have a new stadium as does the University. The message being relayed to the Vikings is this: maybe if you hadn’t choked in your 4 superbowl appearances, you might matter. Since you suck, get the fuck out!!! This is hilarious!

  5. LambeauLeap Junky

    Come to L.A, you queens can borrow Dodgers stadium! All I want is Green Bay once a year in L.A…………….on second thought nvm about borrowing Dodgers stadium, I don’t want you queers stinking it up.

  6. Shawn iltarion

    Nah, it would be a shame to lose the team we love to hate. It is no fun picking on Lion fans; half of them can’t even read.

    Here is an idea NFL: you really want to keep the Vikes in MN, then YOU put up some of the money for the stadium. How about that? It isn’t like the NFL doesn’t have the money.

  7. Hacksaw

    It’s either we play them and beat their asses in a new stadium in Minnesota on a full time basis or play them in Cali on a part time basis and beat their asses. Either way the scumbags in purple will always be haunted by a REAL NFL team. Go Pack Go!

  8. Ivomitonvikingfans

    They never should have put a franchise in Canada in the first place. Those fucking Canucks can’t do anything without skates. Send them to an American city with real fans who hate purple like every American should.

    P.S.I hope they have to listen to that god damned horn from now until the end of time. FUCKERS!!!!

    It will also be nice to focus all of my hatred on those shit-eaters to the south.

  9. Savage57

    Oh yaah, you betcha.

    Geepers criminy, now who’s gonna play up Twin Cities way?

    Them guys, jeez, I’d like to just bonk ’em on the head, don’t cha know?

    – TRANSLATION –

    ??????????????????????????????????

    I can’t wait to brutally post and post and post on the Minny websites when the purple sacks-o-shit finally make their exodus. I try not to kick a person when they’re down, but for these assholes I’ll make an exception.

  10. I dunno, I’d think it would suck if you’re team got moved to another state. It almost happened to the Packers. Green Bay would never be able to have a professional football team in this day and age. Also, why do these billionaires need tax payer dollars to pay for a stadium.

    I guess the rich just get richer…

  11. therealChuckywasCecil

    I am torn on this one. They (and the Cowpukes) are the team I love to hate. Not having them to kick around anymore just wouldn’t be right. Tradition and a rivalry would be lost. I have no confidence that a deal will get done in MSP so I guess it’s off to LA, Queens, take the fricken horn with you. And if they don’t switch up the divisions, a trip to LA once a year to see the Pack would be a nice reward for our fans.

  12. nurseratchett

    If the ViQueens move to Cali, then St. Louis would probably move to the NFC North. I live close to St. Louis, and the Lambs suck so bad the 2 games I’ve seen there vs the Pack were like home games, so from a personal standpoint, hit the road, Queens!

    GO PACK GO

  13. Ponder

    It’s Mind Boggling how Stupid packer fans are.

    They were going to switch out Saint louis for MINNESOTA? What?

    Ummmm, Saint Louis is in relocation play? Duh?

    Just unreal how many horrible sports takes you have to read from Packer Fans around the Internet.

    Enjoy the new palace in Minneapolis, we know that most of you moved here to get a job, so at least you can go watch green bay once, unless you can afford gas back to the Motherland. Skol

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