Highlights Of New Vikings Stadium

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You remember the Minnesota Vikings, don’t you? You know, that totally irrelevant franchise to the west with the most ignorant fans in all of sports?

Yeah, well, they’re about to get a new stadium to replace the garbage dump known as the Metrodome. Or, at least, they’re hoping to. This thing has been tied up in the political process for years, mostly because their dumbass fans didn’t want to pay for it. Anyway, they’re reportedly closer than ever to getting this new shithole built. Word is, it will set some sort of record for largest gathering of people who read at less than a sixth-grade level during the initial Vikings game.

Basically, what they’ve done here is copied elements of Lucas Oil in Indianapolis and University of Phoenix in Phoenix, which is appropriate because no one from Minnesota has ever had an original thought of their own.

On the right side of the photo above you’ll notice what’s supposed to be a tailgating area, but will eventually be dubbed “The Rape Pit” by meathead Vikings fans. If you happen to be a woman or a heterosexual man, you’ll want to steer clear of that area unless you’re looking for a special treat from Ragnar and his merry band of recently-released prison inmates.

The other odd thing about the stadium photo are the fireworks. I mean, the thought of the Minnesota Vikings winning anything that would prompt fireworks… hahahahahahahahaha!

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

14 Comments on "Highlights Of New Vikings Stadium"

  1. David

    That cityscape still looks like LA to me. So I think the artist had this for LA as design #2 and just threw Minnesota back in there.

  2. Savage57

    No matter what they try and do, it will be a barren shithole of a stadium that will suck out loud. It’s just the way things always work out in in Minneshithole.

    And I love the flat roof. Were any of these assholes who designed the “stadium” awake for the last 2 years and watch the last one collapse when there was some snow on top?

    Douchebags. just fucking douchebags. You guys make Shitcagoans look like fucking rocket scientists.

    • David

      I think the strategy was to leave a F-250 up there with a snowplow attachment. Paint it Purple and park it strategically …

  3. Vijay

    “Word is, it will set some sort of record for largest gathering of people who read at less than a sixth-grade level during the initial Vikings game.”

    Absolute, comic genius!

  4. Hacksaw

    @ Adrian Peterson, this is the most childish shit I’ve read in a long time and it’s fucking hilarious.

    Minnesota Vikings = Butt end of a joke

  5. Emily

    Wow, I did not realize packer fans were so immature. After reading this though it all makes since. Yup the Vikings usually suck and we hate the packers just as much as you hate us but this is not funny. Being comedic doesn’t mean being an ass hole. At least Vikings fans don’t have to stoop to this level to get news. This article is sad really and anyone who reads this and thinks its funny is just plain dumb…. Anyway, I am going to move on and read something from the real news with real writers who state facts and not sad little opinions that do not even make since. You guys probably won’t even post this because you are afraid of tarnishing your poor article. Good God please Learn to write with respect and write actual news so you don’t make the rest of the packer fans look as stupid as you!

  6. Pingback: Roll Up The Moving Trucks, Minnesota! | Total Packers

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