Christian Ponder

The Green Bay Packers beat the Minnesota Vikings as expected on Sunday, but it wasn’t quite as easy as it should have been.
Let’s just get this out of the way right off the bat. Even though he’s a piece of shit Minnesota Viking and a rookie on top of it, that fucking Christian Ponder can play.

He’s a competitor. He’s a leader. He’s pretty much exactly the opposite of Donovan McNabb, Leslie Frazier and the entire Minnesota Vikings organization. Frankly, that creep can roll.

Anyway, the Packers got out of Minnesota with a win and moved to 7-0 just like everyone expected. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the white wash we all hoped for.

The Packers offense was unstoppable, as usual. Aaron Rodgers was asinine, completing 24 of 30 passes, throwing for 335 yards and three touchdowns, but that isn’t news.

Aaron Rodgers is the best goddam quarterback in football. His awesomeness is both expected and appreciated.

The real story of the game is this — the unexpected occurred. Everyone thought the Packers would roll these shitbags… I mean, Vikings, because they were starting a rookie quarterback for the first time. Apparently, Ponder didn’t give a shit what everyone thought.

For the most part, he carved up the Packers’ secondary, throwing for 219 yards and two touchdowns. He delivered clutch throws on third down, he didn’t scramble unnecessarily, and he showed poise in the pocket. Not that we’re fawning over Christian Ponder, but if the Vikings decide to hire a real coach and get some skill-position players on offense other than Adrian Peterson, they might be okay one day.

Speaking of Peterson, he ran for 175 yards on, around and through the Packers’ “vaunted” run defense.

The thing that saved Green Bay on Sunday were two interceptions by Charles Woodson and some decent plays by the Packers other corners, Tramon Williams and Jarrett Bush.

In the end, the Packers pulled out a 33-27 win. It shouldn’t have been that close.

You can say it was a division game and those are always close. You can say the Vikings are literally better with Ponder at the helm. You can say the Packers defense is a goddam sieve.

All of those things would probably be true. It’s also true that a win is win and Green Bay is 7-0.