Look, I’m not so concerned about Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Roders’ dating life right now.
That motherfucker needs to win football games, especially since the Packers secondary is giving up 400-plus passing yards a game.
So listen, no fucking pressure, but here’s the deal. You need to not think about broads for the next 15 weeks and then, when you’re done getting the Packers a first-round bye in the playoffs because of your awesomeness, I will go out and let you be my wingman.
And by wingman, I mean you’ll stand around and look awesome and watch me pick up broads. Because you’re going to be focused on the playoffs!
As you know, that’s what’s important!
So, while I’m taking care of business, and you’re settling for second best… or whatever, remember this — only one motherfucker gets first place at the end of the NFL season.
And that motherfucker ain’t gonna be me. It’s gonna be you!
So do what you do. Fling balls. Make them perfect. Make Jon Gruden spread his crotch wider than it’s ever been spread!
Because let’s face it…
I have my moments, but you’re the fuckin’ man!
When the season is over, I will acquiesce all these broads to you.
And I will take your chafe.
Because you’re Aaron Fucking Rodgers.
Anyway, my boy over at Busted Coverage pointed this out to me and I couldn’t ignore it forever. Destiny Newton — Aaron Rodgers’ last known broad. She’s not Erin Andrews, she’s not that broad from Lady Antebellum… she’s fucking better!
But hey, every man for himself! You’re playing football. I’m writing blog posts and getting ripped…
Sorry bro. Season will be over soon… but only if you take care of that business! And don’t take that as an invitation to bow out early in the playoffs, because I will take care of business extra hard then.
Until then, nothing to worry about. I’ve got it covered!
On a side note, if anyone knows who Destiny’s hot-ass friend is, please email us. She deserves some coverage of her own.