Brett Favre

Needs something to do to get away from the wife.

Now that [intlink id=”41″ type=”category”]Brett Favre[/intlink] is supposedly retired for good, he needs something to do besides collect evil glares from Deanna and text lewd messages to the tart he met at the local Big Star.

That something, at least according to the Lord Brett Favre himself, is coaching or television work. Favre was interviewed by Hattiesburg’s (Miss.) NBC affiliate at his football camp on Thursday, telling the station he’s starting a new career.

Although Favre said he has no plans to do either anytime soon, he could one day see himself as a television analyst or a coach, both of which seem laughable to me.

Completely self-absorbed human beings ALWAYS make great coaches.

As for television work, I’m sure the networks will be beating Favre’s door down trying to get the sort of aww shucks, twangy, salt-of-the-earth analysis only Brett Favre can deliver. I wonder if we’ll get to see him slap other dudes on the ass in the studio.

I also wonder if the network will have someone commenting on Brett Favre’s commentary.

“Look at that folks! He’s still got it! Favre just delivered a humdinger of a call, right there! He’s like a kid out there! He just loves calling the game!”

It’s almost a no-brainer to pair Favre with Jon Gruden in some capacity. Then we can listen to them completely disregard the game and tell each other how great they are for three-plus hours, while waiving their giant meat paws around and trying to out cockflex each other by seeing who can sit with their legs spread further apart.

Wouldn’t that be awesome?