Hest Is The Best!

57 33

This will make your taint hurt, but it will also make you laugh.

Why?

Because it’s stupidest piece of crap you’ll see all week.

That’s right. We’ve got more fan-composed music videos for you, but this one comes from Chicago, where they love Bears kick returner Devin Hester. Hence the title of this flaming pile, Hest Is the Best.

There are several things to take note of.

1. The fat bastard singing this song, who’s funny all by himself utters some line about how Hester is faster than you and me. Yeah, he’s probably faster than me, but he’s definitely faster than you. Also, note the badass air guitar solo at the beginning. Bad-fucking-ass, bro!

2. The two weirdos, especially the cracked-out broad, on either side of fat bastard jamming to this awesome jam by slapping footballs between their hands. I wonder how excited they’d be if something cool actually happened? Give that broad a Xanax!

3. The dude on stage who is presumably the other voice in this production isn’t doing anything other than putting a microphone in front of his mouth, uttering some nonsense and channeling Michael Jackson. Good job on that dance, bro!

4. The drummer isn’t playing along with the recording at all, especially toward the end. I keep waiting for him to break out a drum solo while the song is playing.

The Super Bowl Shuffle, this is not.

(Via With Leather)

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

33 Comments on "Hest Is The Best!"

    • Luey monsters of the midway

      Wow this website sucks. First of all its just a bunch of fudgepackers keeping an eye on the chicago bears. Get a life you losers. Second of all who designed this piece of shit it looks like one of your retarded fans did it.

      question. Do you guys even have electricity up there ehh? How’s bear hunting season going? I heard all the men up there get excited when the deer go in the rout. I doubt there is a full set of teeth in that whole village. How do you guys expect to win a football game with Judd Nelson as your qb. Donald Driver better pack an extra pack of depends guy is so goddamn old. I bet this website is powered by a potato with wires attached to it. Make sure you feed your hamster or the power will go out in your city. What the hell is a packer anyways? Whats up with your vomit uniforms?

      This was probably a complete waste of time since you’re all probably illiterate anyways.

      • gopackgo

        First of all, how long did it take you to write that??? obviously you’re the loser who with too much time on your hands. and if you think totalpackers.com is packer fans “keeping an eye” on the bears, what do you call a bears fan commenting on a packers website? and by the way i’d take judd nelson over cutler and his vagina any day, judd is a fucking badass. sad that our uniforms are the only flaw you can find in our team. and blue + orange = the color of shit in jay cutlers pants when he see clay matthews coming for him

      • Jdog

        Well penned Luey. This is one of the more coherent posts I’ve seen from a bears fan this week. You get a gold star. I am sure you are the funniest guy in the fourth grade at school. Keep up the good work.

      • ay hombre

        I’m a huge fan of the Packers and this site but I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard at anyone else’s post so kudos Louie. Hilarious man. Bears still suck. Go Pack Go!

      • Buddy

        The guys that run this site live in Cali. I live in Minneapolis. There are GB fans all around the country Screwy Luey. The “Packers” coined the name from a meat packaging company that funded the “Acme Packers” back in the early 1800’s. It took a lot of time, energy and creativity to come up with “Bears” as a team name. Where’s the history behind that. Did some stupid Pollack from Chicago go to the zoo and say I need a name for our football team oh “Duh Bearse” By the way I have seen your Illinoise shithole state and have had nothing but bad experiences with the trash that occupies it. F.I.B.’S

        Sounds like your Mom let you stay up past your bedtime and have a little too much time on the computer. Go back to your basement and masturbate and think about what it’s like to be with a woman. Night Night!

  1. Their local radio announcer has made a career out exclaiming “Deven Hester – you. are. Ri-diculous!!!!!!!!” like every fucking time he touches the ball.

    And Bears fans, well, they just can’t get enough.

    Too bad he is a shitty route runner.

  2. luey is a fuckhead

    Luey you a just like everyother arrogant Bears fan… fair weather bandwagon jumping piece of shit. There is a reason all your neighbors flock to Wisconsin every chance they get.. its way better than being stuck in fuckin Illinois. Cutler won’t be able to handle the pressure when Sunday rolls around. Aaron Rodgers will pile up the TDs and when the game is over he is going to come to your house and fuck you mom and sister while you watch curled up in the fetal position sobbing like the bitch you are. Go Packers.

  3. Buddy

    Too bad Devin Pester can’t catch a Cuntler pass to save his life. Still keep the ball away from that greased up little bastard on punts GB! We did great last game though.

    • Lumpy Gravy

      Yeah, in all seriousness, there’s no reason to punt to him. Masthay will need a really big game again (not to mention Bush and Lee on coverage). Didn’t Hester have zero catches last game? In any event, I refuse to watch this video, and the Bears still suck.

      • Buddy

        Yes, Hester can only return the ball. He’s like a trained dog that can do only one trick. The Bears love watching Hester return the ball. Just like a dog owner likes watching the dog sit. Too bad he can’t play dead.

  4. Packers suck dick!

    Fuck the packers! The only thing to come out of green bay is rape, cheese, and those shithead fudgepackers, who the fuck names their team in honor of a meat packing company? ill tell you who…Hillbillies, Northern hillbillies, You guys are the scum of the midwest, take your city and your team shove them back up your ass where they should be. You fucking shitheads! Go Bears!!

    • Jdog

      I wasn’t kidding when I said Luey’s comment was one of the more intelligently written critiques by a bear’s fan. Did you develop that razor sharp dialog all on your own or is it something passed down from your Uncle Dad?

  5. s

    #18 – I dunno who the hell names their team after a CORNSTARCH manufacturing company? I will tell you who…the Decatur Staleys aka the Chicago Staleys aka the Chicago Bears. Don’t you idiot Bear fans have anything better to do than go trolling on Packer websites?? How Pathetic…no wonder your own quarterback flips you morons off.

  6. GO LUEY! The Bears rule and the Packers can go eat a dick. I love watching all these Greenbay asshats try to sound intelligent. I have been through Greenbay your all a bunch of toothless yokels who get off to pics of Rodgers but humping Driver. Your feild looks like a giant toilet wich is fitting considering your team is complete shit. Don’t even begin to run your inbred mouths about history lol. There are pics of Soldiers Feild under construction and they are hauling out gravel by horse and buggy. Now I know that dosn’t mean much in your cousin fucking backwards little city because to you all the horse and buggy are still considered modern technology. The saddest part about Greenbay is that even if you do beat the Bears on Sunday you still have to live in Geenbay were nobody cares about you. Best of luck this Sunday fuckos and try not to suck any dick on your way to Chicago.

    • Jdog

      LOL, dude you are PATHETIC! Illiterately stringing together obscenities whilst misspelling every fourth word does not make for a good argument. Not that swearing is all bad. For instance, I can assert that you are a moronic fucktard and reference your novella above as proof; totally believable and verifiable. Here’s a little clue, the red squiggle lines underneath 20% of the words in your post do not, in fact, earn you any game points. That is your computer’s way of telling you that you have the mental faculty of toaster. Enjoy watching the game at your local shelter.

  7. DevilDon

    That’s the best the professors at Northwestern can up with?
    i before e except after “c” goof.
    Yes, let’s portray Green Bay as the backwards, down south kind of environment Chicago is known for.
    Oh, let’s chip in with some corrupt politicians right?
    Yes, after we beat the Bears we will still live where we live, we chose that asshat!
    Living in squalor and dismay isn’t our type of happy living, but if you like it… OK
    Funny you are so envious of our little state. You flock here in droves. Illinois is a carpenters dream: flat as a board and easy to screw.

  8. Baaaaahahahahahahah Choosing to live in Greenbay is like choosing to live in an out house, it smells like shit, your neighbors are turds and no matter where you turn your not really gonna get anywhere. Like I said I have been there wich is why I am confused as to how YOU define squalor, and please don’t mistake envy for pity. Lets not get off topic though, we were discussing the Bears completely ass raping the Packers this weekend. I am going to make a prediction, Rogers is gonna bump his head and be out the rest of the game with another concussion. Wel ALL know there Bears hit harder, play harder, and play smarter than the Packers ever will. There Bears will end you just like we ended you ex-heros career.

  9. Jenny B

    Your QB Arrogant Rodgers is cockier than his buddy Old Fartve. Putting on his world champion belt after a touchdown…sickening! No Bear QB would ever be so cocky. Classless, he belongs on the JETS!

  10. Jdog are you attacking my spelling and grammar because you have no argument defending your shitty team? I hope the Packers don’t give up that easily or this is going to be a boring game. And I refuse to beleive anyone from Greenbay can use spelling and punctuation that well, Jdog you must be autistic you spell really well but you clearly are a fucking retard at all other aspects of your life.

    • Jdog

      Yet again, your short-bus mentality betrays you. Please shine your brilliance on me by explaining how autism remotely factors into what ever point it is you think you are making. Your arguments consist of calling people shit heads and retards. It is absent any shred of football “knowledge”. It’s almost like you know nothing at all about the game. Seriously, if your mom finds out what you are doing on the computer in the off-moments you are not masturbating, you might be in trouble. Then again, maybe not. I’ll just finish by saying when all is said and done, I get to live my life as me and you…well, each post shows the superawesomeness you reside in. Stay classy buddy!

  11. Actually Jdog he is right, a lot of autistic people are brilliant at one certain thing and completely handicaped when it comes to everything else. Like that kid that can play any song on the piano and he only has to hear the song once. Or the movie Rainman where he can recite pages from a dictionary but can’t even tie his shoes. He is just saying that you are great at spelling and punctuation but are handicaped at all other things. GO BEARS!

    • Jdog

      Hey congratulations, finally a bears fan that can communicate past the grade school level. Very good! Do you see the irony in the fact that you focused on a very minor point in the post and fixated on it as if you were, say, autistic? If you meant to the that; then well played Sir! If not, put the dunce cap back on and return to counting your fingers. I am beginning to understand why Hest is the Best is popular with you guys.

  12. Lonesome Roads

    Guys,
    We can all agree that Bears and Packers fans dislike each others teams. However, there is no reason for Chicago fans to deride a nice but albeit smaller city like Green Bay.
    Sure Green Bay does not have the architecture, culture, or dining that a metropolis like Chicago does, but it does have a lot of things going for it that make it the jewel on the lake that it is. Once I point out all those great things, the Chicago people on this board will see that there is no need for insults.
    The Following Cultural events are happening this year in Green Bay.

    Feb 12th Goatee Festival
    Mar 10th Sister Impregnating Expo (This year with 1st cousins)
    Apr 10th Sausage swallowing contest (men only)
    Apr 12th Billy Bob and the Rednecks concert
    May 12th Planning for football season tailgating starts
    (not much else to do really)
    May 12th -August 13th Eating Cheese
    June -July Shaking fists at Illinois drivers who are on their way to better parts of Michigan and Wisconsin festival
    July 4th Blow crap up in the yard
    August 10th Continue to Fish with bare hands
    September Hey isn’t it time to watch the Packers lose and get mad at Chicago because their city isn’t a cesspool
    October Hunting season AKA shooting your neighbors in the rear because you are drunk season
    November 17th Hate on Chicago because they have indoor plumbing fair
    December 1-20th Beat wife in Drunken stupor fest
    Dec 31 Annual “who can get the highest BAC while driving contest”

    So as you can see Green Bay has a lot going on so you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss what it has to offer.

    Lonesome

  13. Pingback: Iron Mike Cuts A Rug! | Total Packers

  14. Pingback: In Chicago, It's A Good Idea To Let Devin Hester Be A Writer | Total Packers

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *