Predictions: Packers vs. Patriots
Steffen: The New England Patriots ought to temporarily change their name to the New England Buzzsaw, because that moniker has been lobbed their way a lot the last few weeks.
They dropped 45 in consecutive weeks against the Lions and Jets before clownining the Bears 36-7, last Sunday. They are without a doubt the hottest team in the league right now.
Historically, the Tom Brady-led Patriots are nearly impossible to beat in December, especially at home.
But do the Green Bay Packers, who are desperate to keep their playoff hopes alive, actually have the upper hand this week? Could they escape Foxburough with a big win?
Well, if you take a closer look at Sunday night’s matchup you will conclude that the answer for both of these questions is a resounding, “fuck no.”
It actually has little to do with the Patriots at this point. I’d be hesitant to favor this injury-ravaged Green Bay squad against most teams in the league, let alone New England.
Here are the facts:
1. The Packers have around 13 players on IR, several of which are starters.
2. They have no running game. At all. Still.
3. Collectively, the play of the offensive line has regressed. They haven’t opened holes for the running back all season, but their pass protection has completely broken down over the last couple weeks.
4. Clay Matthews, while still active, has been slowed by nagging shin injury. While he remains one of the NFL sack leaders, he has been nearly invisible since week 11 and his last two sacks have been gimmes.
5. Aaron Rodgers is not going to play. He is the main reason the Packers have eight wins this season and the offense looked completely lost last week without him and that was against a hapless Lions squad.
I predict a somewhat demoralizing loss this week. Brady will systematically chip away at the Packers thin defense and eventually, without a running game to rely on, the exhausted defense will implode and the score will snowball.
As a bonus prediction, look for Patriots halfback Danny Woodhead to have a huge game.
Patriots 48, Packers 9
Monty: Hey, fuck these assholes. Just because they’re 10 times better than the Packers and that shitbag Mike McCarthy held Aaron Rodgers out… oh… fuck… never mind.
The Patriots are the best team in the NFL.
Mike McCarthy is a cunt.
Patriots 703, Packers 35
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.