Everyone Hates Brad Childress

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The cheese stands alone.

It’s a sad, sad story over in Minnesota…

Wait a second. Nope. It’s fucking hilarious! A laugh riot! A true sign that the scumbags of the world eventually always get their just desserts!

If you haven’t heard by now, trouble is afoot in the Minnesota Vikings organization, also known as the dregs of the NFL. One year after their glory-filled season of milk and honey, the Vikings are working on a complete implosion.

And let me say, it couldn’t happen to a better organization and better fans.

When quarterback Brett Favre isn’t answering questions about slinging pictures of his cock around via text, he’s pissing and moaning about his coach and making excuses about injuries. The team trades for a star wide receiver in Randy Moss, only to cut him after four weeks because he told the owner to fire the coach. The head coach nearly comes to blows with receiver Percy Harvin during a Friday practice. Oh yeah, and the Vikings are 3-5, only getting their third win via a late comeback against the pitiful Arizona Cardinals at home.

In his post-game news conference, coach Brad Childress takes a not-so-veiled shot at Favre and his prima donna attitude.

Lots of good, happy feelings floating around Minneapolis these days.

Here’s the thing, though. As much as we in Packers Nation hate those bottom-feeding, scum-sucking excuses for human beings known as the Minnesota Vikings, they hate Childress more.

What does it mean when the truly detestable detest someone else even more than they’re detested? It’s like an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

Earlier this week, the Chicago Sun Times asked some Vikings players what they thought of Childress. Although no one let the paper print their name, they didn’t hold back in their commentary, either.

”We know that Childress doesn’t have our backs, so why should we have his?” one player said. ”We’re playing for us, and we’re winning despite him.”

Actually, you’re only 3-5, so I don’t know that you’re doing a lot of “winning” there, smart guy.

Anyway, the list goes on, from “he has absolutely no people skills” to complaints about the way Childress bashes players publicly.

Here’s one of my favorites.

”As much as I hate Childress,” another player said, ”I will keep playing.”

It could only have been better if he would have called Childress a pederast.

Also, I have to commend whatever nameless Vikings player this is for continuing to give his all even though he only makes millions of dollars each year to play a game. Way to be classy, guy. I would totally have quit because of my disdain for a single individual already, unless I was making at least, say… $16 million.

Anyway, here’s to hoping the Vikings keep Childress around, a mutiny ensues, the team doesn’t win another game all season, and the whole damn thing implodes.

Man, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling all over.

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About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

13 Comments on "Everyone Hates Brad Childress"

  1. i'm harvin a headache

    neither farve or tampering chilli will make it through the end of the season – and now with rasta randy gone (along with his dime bags) purssy is have headaches again?!?!? go figure

  2. Ernest Tee

    No matter how wrong it is, I will have my Bear’s shirt on for the game Sunday. Yes the Queens should win to knock down the Bears, but come on, cheer for the Queens. Not gonna happen.

    • Don’t you know? He’s far too busy in his day-to-day life of being a millionaire cowboy astronaut superhero lawyer who plays scratch golf and only bangs supermodels.

      He can’t grace mere mortals like us with his presence anymore. Doesn’t have anything to do with his precious Brittfarr and his Vikings tanking. Nope. No siree, not at all.

  3. Kozak

    What to do. Hate the Bears. Hate the Queens. Best outcome? Vikings squeak out a win over Da Bears but get the sh#t beat out of them doing it and are nice and banged up for a rested rising Pack.

    • Abe Frohman

      how about a tie after they beat the crap out of each other? Failing that, a W for the Vikings probably saves Chilly’s job for another week. That’s what I’m hoping for – as much as it pains me to say.

  4. Buddy

    Even if Da Bearse beat the piss out of the Queens Brent will supply the pain killers so they can still play against us. That’s ok because we should stomp the Queens in thier home field. Just look how they almost blew it against the Cards. Sure they’ll mike the crowd, but I’ll be there with the other 60% of the stadium worth of Packer fans with a resounding “GO PACK GO!”

  5. Pingback: Here's What's Wrong With The Vikings | Total Packers

  6. Pingback: Chilly! Discusses Randy Moss Vomit Incident | Total Packers

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