Brett Favre Just Needed His Ego Massaged

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Please pay attention to me

You all remember when Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre was going to retire. I mean, retire for the third time, this year, for good.

Then he changed his mind, again. Oh, and he lied about it.

Favre sent text messages to teammates informing them he was going to hang it up, which prompted all the retirement talk. Favre then did a 180 and said he’d play if his ankle was healthy enough and denied ever sending the text messages — the same text messages his teammates confirmed they had received.

Apparently, things went down like this. Favre sent the messages with the intent to retire because his ankle wasn’t feeling healthy enough. Several Vikings players texted Favre back urging him to reconsider and the organization offered him more money. Favre’s ego got its proper massaging. Favre again became uncertain about retirement and lied about sending the messages in the first place.

All of this according to Jay Glazer.

As one source explained to me, Favre probably wasn’t prepared for such an outpouring. When he left the Packers there wasn’t much love, if any, from teammates asking him to reconsider. And there certainly wasn’t any from Jets’ players. But with this team, Favre was completely beloved, and for the first time, had an entire locker room figuratively pounding down his door like a husband begging his wife not to file for divorce.

“He’s torn,” said another member of the Vikings. “I think in his mind he was done, but loves the guys in this locker room and doesn’t want to let them down. He didn’t want to (come back), but I don’t think he can say no to these guys. He’s tortured.”

Oh, poor tortured Brett. I shed a tear for you.

Why Favre decided to lie about sending the texts to begin with is uncertain. No one really knows how his stupid hayseed brain works or if it even knows how to do anything other than chuck a football.

However, I have a solution to this problem of Brett Favre that will allow us to move on for good. Someone get me Brett Favre’s number, we’ll post it here and then anyone can text Favre and tell them what they think of him and if he should play this season.

Something tells me the refrain of give it up already and leave us alone you stupid hick will drown out the come back pleas. When Favre gets the message, maybe we can be done with his charade for good.

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About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

20 Comments on "Brett Favre Just Needed His Ego Massaged"

  1. tequila

    Same shit, different day. My heart pounds in anticipation of the defenders of the Favre to show up in the comments section. (that’s sarcasm for you brain dead Brett hookers)

  2. AntiMonty

    For all the Favre bashers out there…why do you care? How does what Favre says or does affect your life? And Before you respond with the typical “you’re just a Favre lover” response, ask your self the same two questions again, then go and get a life.

      • None of this affects our actual lives. What team you like or hate- it doesnt matter. But if you’re a Packer fan, whether or not favre plays affects that part of your life.

        AntiMonty… get a life indeed.

  3. We care because we want to be heavily favored in the division rather than just favored. And maybe review your posts for spelling and grammatical errors. Then again. . .you probably did that.

  4. Nick

    I love the reporting people rely on. So far, all the text messages have been from “a source” who is of course is, “familiar with the situation.” What the hell does that mean? That means, the person won’t identify themselves, becuase, well lets see, I’m making the shit up.

    The only facts Favre has in his mind are these two:

    Vikings 30

    Packers 23

    Vikings 38

    Packers 26

    And, to be frank, I hope he comes back twice a year till he is 50, or they ditch Ted, and beats up this team for violating rule #1 in gm school. NEVER TRADE A LEGEND! NEVER!

    What happens if you do? This crap for years to come. Thank you Ted.

    • MAD City Packer Fan

      You forgot this Fact:

      Saints 31

      Vikings 28

      NFC Championship Game January 24, 201

      Like you know anything about being a GM in the NFL! HA

      • Nick

        Did I miss something? Did Favre play for the Saints? What was AR doing on Jan 24th. Smoking pot with his loser friends in Cali.

        Where were the packers? Oh, yes, with a chance to go win the game, AR fumbled the ball and the Cardinals ran it back for a touchdown to win the game and move into the NFC Divisional Playoffs.

        You got to be in it to win it.

        Additionally, I would be happy to put my GM credentials against yours anyday of the week.

    • To be fair, the link reported by Monty in this particular piece was from Jay Glazer who is widely considered to be a pretty damn reputable source.

      Oh, and you know, the Colts really saw a lot of awful returns for trading Johnny Unitas to the Chargers. And the Jets REALLY caught it in the ass for trying to trade Joe Namath to the Rams (he was waived to facilitate the signing when a trade couldn’t be worked out).

      I hope you hung around for Rule #2 in GM school, because you don’t seem to have grasped the full reach of Rule #1.

      • Nick

        Wow. I don’t mean to be brass, but you don’t know much.

        Unitas was coming of the bench is his final year with the “Baltamore ” Colts in 71. And, I don’t know how much more of an awful return you can get. The colts went 4-10 in 72 and 2-12 in 73.

        Before you start talking about GM school, learn something about football.

  5. Nick K.

    Just so theres no confusion with me and this imposter Nick. I bleed green and gold and have since I was born. Also Ive been coming to this site for two years now.

  6. jeff ircink

    “Something tells me the refrain of give it up already and leave us alone you stupid hick will drown out the come back pleas. When Favre gets the message, maybe we can be done with his charade for good.”

    really? now that’s funny….and wishful thinking.

  7. matt fox

    Frankly Jeremy, I’d do pretty much anything to watch Favre kick the crap out of the Packers again. And again.

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