NFL Can Suspend Fat Fucks From Minnesota… Probably
We haven’t really talked much about the Minnesota Vikings’ Starcaps case lately because it’s been sitting in the courts, but yesterday Hennepin County District Judge Gary Larson issued a significant ruling.
Before we get to that, we’d be remiss if we didn’t offer a quick recap of events.
Back in December of 2008, the two fat fucks who occupy the middle of the Vikings’ defense, Kevin Williams and Pat Williams – who despite sharing a name and a penchant for eating small children, are not related – were suspended four games by the NFL for testing positive for a banned substance.
The specific substance was a diuretic that can be used as a masking agent for steroids. These fat cunts weren’t actually found to be taking steroids, but a weight-loss drug called Starcaps which contains the specific diuretic on the NFL’s banned substance list. Rather than accept their suspensions, the players took it to the courts and received a temporary restraining order, which allowed them to play the rest of the 2008 season and all of 2009.
Yesterday, Larson sided with the NFL, ruling the suspensions were legal, even though the league broke Minnesota state law in the process.
Larson said the NFL failed to notify the two players of their test results within three days, as required in Minnesota, and said an NFL official played “a game of ‘gotcha'” with them. But he said that wasn’t enough to block the NFL’s plan to suspend the players for four games each.
You’d think that would be it, but no. Larson may extend the injunction pending the players’ appeal, which means the NFL wouldn’t be able to suspend two tons of fun until either the injunction is lifted or a decision is rendered in the league’s favor by a higher court.
The decision doesn’t necessarily clear the way for the NFL to suspend Kevin Williams and Pat Williams for part of next season, however. The judge put off a decision on whether to extend an injunction blocking the suspensions pending an expected appeal by the players. A decision isn’t expected for about two weeks.
So, stay tuned. Anything that negatively affects those fucks from Minnesota is a positive in our eyes.
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.