Brett Favre Will Take Your Hard-Earned Money
Worked hard for that paycheck, didn’t you?
Dealt with all kinds of bullshit from clients and customers, had to listen to your cunting boss blather on incompetently all week, had to work more hours than you cared to for a salary lower than you deserve, didn’t you?
Now that you have your paycheck in your hand and it’s almost the weekend you just want to get the hell out of there, but what to do with that hard-earned cash?
Well, Brett Favre has an idea for you.
Give it to him.
You see, Brett Favre isn’t sure if Brett Favre wants to work this year or not, so Brett Favre needs to supplement his income… with yours.
That’s right, your main man, Brett “Just Loves To Play The Game” Favre wants to give you an autograph. And for that privilege, he’s only going to charge you $400!
Sounds like a fucking bargain to me!
Actually, let’s be real. Brett Favre isn’t necessarily going to charge you $400 for him to sign his name.
There are plenty of price points at the Radke Sports signing with Brett Favre.
A full-size helmet or a jersey will cost you $400. A football or a photo larger than 11×14 will cost $250. A mini helmet or a photo under 11×14 will cost $175 and an inscription (SB XXXI Champs, 3x MVP or a personalized autograph only!) will cost $100.
Hey, no problem, though. You get to meet your idol in person, so it’s totally worth it!
Oh, wait a second, I read that wrong. Nope, you don’t get to meet Lord Favre at all. You get to put your shit in the mail and send it to Radke Sports and you know what? You get to fucking like it!
Yeah, that’s right, you get to buy whatever memorabilia you want old King Favre to sign too.
So there you go. Now you know what to do with a big chunk of that paycheck.
Full-size replica NFL helmet: $77
Shipping to Radke Sports: $12
Autograph of Lord Brett Favre: $400
What’s even better is when all your friends say, “Wow, you met Brett Favre and got his autograph?!”, you can tell them the awesome story of how you didn’t actually meet Brett Favre, but how he was cool enough to let you put something in the mail, pay him $500, and then have a company mail it back to you for him because he knows what a big fan you are.
And let me tell you, you’ll be telling that yarn to your grandkids.
Hey, you better hurry though, because Lord Favre is signing only the first 100 items.
If your item is No. 101 to arrive at Radke Sports, well, I guess you’re fucked. King Favre has no time for pithy subjects like you!
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.