The Rest of the Green Bay Packers News
No, I’m not going to start doing a Green Bay Packers-related link dump every day, or even every week. I get much more satisfaction from writing stuff and then letting you guys shit all over it.
Besides, Railbird Central already does that, and does it better than I would ever care to do it, with the exception that he doesn’t include nearly enough of our stuff. But then, Railbird Central is like the Dean Martin to Total Packers’ Jerry Lewis, only in this case, Jerry Lewis just did a huge fucking line off a stripper’s ass and huffed some aerosol with a plastic bag over his head before walking on stage.
Anyway, my point is this. Go there for the links. Come here for the entertainment, or the train wreck, or whatever the fuck gets you off.
So here’s the stuff we didn’t get a chance to write about this week, but still find interesting.
We all know the Packers special teams were poor at best this season. Jeremy Kapinos is a joke as an NFL punter, Mason Crosby – AKA Shankopotamus – often did more damage than good, and the coverage units were atrocious. Well, Cheesehead TV’s Aaron Nagler thinks the solution is to fire special teams coach Shawn Slocum. I can’t really say Slocum would be missed. The real question is who would replace him, now that Bobby April is off the market.
Astonishingly, the Packers did not finish first in the league in penalties, even though they opened the season doing their best impression of the 1996 Oakland Raiders. No, that honor went to, well… the Oakland Raiders. The Packers finished fifth, but they made up for it by finishing second in penalty yardage. The Packers were penalized for 1,059 yards, which trailed only the Baltimore Ravens, who had 1,094 penalty yards. What’s also awesome, is that Tramon Williams was second in the league in penalty yardage for an individual, with 124 yards. Well done, Tramon!
The Pro Bowl is a joke. Thankfully, someone else noticed it. That someone else is the National Football Post’s Matt Bowen, who notes that too many of the major stars are dropping out with injuries to really call this an all-star game. Couple that with the fact that the game will be played without players from the Super Bowl teams for the first time and you have… a football game. The New England Patriots’ Tom Brady and the San Diego Chargers’ Phillip Rivers dropped out, enabling Tennessee’s Vince Young to make the squad. That’s right, Vince Young – he of the 10 touchdowns and seven interceptions. Those are imposing fucking numbers, my friends! Look out for the AFC squad!
Does every member of the Green Bay Packers fraternity hate Brett Favre as much as I do? No, and I understand that. At the same time, if I see an opportunity to trash Lord Brett or the Minnesota Vikings, I’m all over it because, like Bobby Brown, that’s my prerogative. So, the piece from Tim Seeman at Bleacher Report on what the New York Jets playoff success says about Brett Favre struck me as interesting. Essentially, Seeman argues that the Jets success proves that Favre was on a Super Bowl-caliber team last season, so his only reason for signing with the Vikings was to stick it to the Packers – not to compete for a championship, as he claimed. An interesting theory, no doubt, but it loses water for me when you consider Eric Mangina was the coach of the Jets last season. Rex Ryan, even though he’s a fat, stupid piece of shit, is a superior coach, not to mention the Jets upgraded their defense this season with the acquisitions of Bart Scott and Jim Leonard. Still, if you’re into conspiracies, then take a look at the article. All I know is that Favre is a scumbag.
A bunch of shitbags from Minnesota ripped on me when I posted a satire piece on Vikings coach Brad Childress being a pedophile. Apparently, they don’t know what satire is in Minnesooooooooota. Well, I hope they don’t read The Onion, because they’d be totally lost and confused (more so than normal). This week, The Onion was responsible for the image at the top of this post. The accompanying headline read “Brad Childress Celebrates Win With A Little Pedophilia.”
Lastly, here’s a pretty cool story that a reader sent in. It’s about Packers fan Jim Becker, who is up for the Packers Fan Hall of Fame this year. Back in the day, Becker had to sell his blood in order to afford his Packers season tickets. Later, he found out he had a rare disease – one that killed his father – that causes an excess of iron in the blood. The only way to combat the disease is to give blood regularly, so, in effect, Jim’s dedication to the Packers saved his life. That, my friends, is pretty awesome.
Thanks for reading and good night.
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.