Minnesota Vikings: Raising Them Classy

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We all know Minnesota Vikings’ fans are a classy bunch, and by “classy” I mean an ignorant, classless bunch of scumbags.

Well, now we know why. Not only do they breed them that way, they teach them the ways of the douchebag at a young age. It’s a wonder anyone from Minnesota can escape this environment of mouth-breathery that’s forced upon them from childhood to become anything other than a car thief or a 7-Eleven clerk.

Oh, wait. They can’t.

Anyway, here’s an example of how they do it.

While mom and dad are dumping a 12-pack of Schmidt down their throat, they throw out a dummy of the opposing team’s quarterback, which their children attack like rabid dogs, kicking, punching and biting until kickoff. Then, the family goes inside the Metrodome, where the kids hold their parents’ beers and often drink from them because mom and dad can’t afford pop. Sometime around the third quarter, the oldest child is left in charge of their brethren so mom and dad can retire to a bathroom stall to produce Danny a new brother.

Git im in da balls, Danny!

Obviously there’s some pent up frustration when you haven’t won a championship in… ever.

Photo from Stacey Wescott of the Chicago Tribune via Bear Goggles On.

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About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

3 Comments on "Minnesota Vikings: Raising Them Classy"

  1. Mr. Jim

    Its really hard for you to attack the Vikings as a team since they are so much better than the Packers this season, that you would feel like an ass. So you stoop to attacking the teams fans.. which is OK.. so long as you realize that the PACK is nothing compared to the Vikes this season.

  2. Viking Fan

    Wow…way to stereotype every Vikings fan as a no-class redneck. Are there some in the stadium?…yes. But there are just as many packer fans that do the same. So settle down and let a few kids have some fun.

  3. Gina

    I’m cheering for GB in the SuperBowl today. I get this site is for fun. But, let us be honest here WI. Driving through your state, you can exit into white supremacist land. I’m sure there are 10 hick-ass Packer parents for every 1 example from MN.
    Just sayin’. PS-never liked Favre-part of the reason I hated GB & put my Vikings shit away until he was officially gone. What a whiner.

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