Man, I suck.

Well, there’s a good chance if you can’t get on the field for the laughingstock of the NFL, you’re not going to get on the field anywhere, and that’s just what’s happening with Javon Walker in Oakland.

Walker, who demanded a trade from the Green Bay Packers and later the Denver Broncos, has seen the field a grand total of four plays this season. He’s been inactive for four of the Raiders five games. He’s caught zero passes.


Let me be totally upfront. I fucking despise Javon Walker. Ever since he pulled his prima donna act in Green Bay and demanded a trade, well, I wouldn’t piss on the guy if he were on fire.

Besides my personal feelings, Walker’s inactivity is totally perplexing considering that the Raiders have the worst offense in the history of offenses. Of course, a big part of that is the Raiders have the worst quarterback in the history of quarterbacks in JaMarcus Russell, but still. This douche can’t even get on the field for the Raiders?


Anyway, Walker says he’s open to a trade if the Raiders think it’s in their best interest. Walker is making $4.6 million this season and says he’s 100 percent recovered from the ankle and knee injuries he suffered last season.

As you read this, the Raiders phone lines are lighting up with potential suitors. I have personally called Al Davis and offered him a wheel of cheese for Walker, who I will then employ as my butler. The deal is contingent upon the Raiders picking up Walker’s entire $4.6 million salary. Davis is strongly considering it.

Ah, Javon Walker, rotting away in purgatory is exactly where you belong.

Happy fucking trails!