Guest Post
AP Photo/Mark Duncan

Hi. I suck balls.

Very, apparently.

While sifting through the usual crap in my inbox this morning, I happened upon a press release from some knucklehead named Chris Carriveau, who is heading up a “purification ceremony” at the “BLACK SUNDAY EVENT” Saturday, Oct. 31 — the day before Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field to play the Green Bay Packers in his new Minnesota Vikings’ purple and gold.

The press release invites fans to “join us in washing our collective dirty laundry” and dye any and all Favre jerseys, shirts, etc. black as a way to “mourn a hero’s passing.”

The ceremony will include a prayer by St. Vince over the dye cauldrons as he churns the waters black. Oh yeah, and St. Vince will be available for pics and autographs after the ceremony, in case you care.

This guy is urging fans to wear the black shirts during that Sunday’s game and wants the stadium to go silent when No. 4 runs out onto the field as a Queen, rather than be filled with boos and the like.

In the words of Carriveau, “Let’s turn the frozen tundra into a sheet of black ice!!!” and give ol’ Bretty the “cold shoulder,” so to speak.

Now I’m no fan of Favre and his unretirement antics of late, especially this season, but this is fucking ridiculous, people!

I’m really hoping it’s all in fun. Because if not, this guy and his Black Sunday idea are going to make Packers’ fans look even more idiotic than our deer hunting camouflage jumpsuits and Cheeseheads already do.

Yes, it really fucking sucks that Favre is a Viking. What sucks even more is how much he wanted to play there, knowing how much of a slap in the face it would be to Packers fans. And don’t even get me started about the crap that happened with Ted Thompson and Co. Brett can definitely be a big crybaby.

But you know what? Football is a business, people. And this guy, whether he’s dead to you now or not, is still the best thing that ever happened to the Packers’ franchise in its long and venerable history. Hands down.

And I know a few years from now, when Favre is retired for good and he’s inducted into the Hall of Fame, plenty of the same fans who now hate him and wish he never existed will be bawling at his acceptance speech and blubbering on and on about his place among the greatest QBs of all time.

The point is, get over it. Favre is and will always be a Packer. He’s not going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame as a Viking, and while it’s fine to be miffed that he’s playing for the Packers’ rivals, he’s not going to last the entire season and certainly isn’t taking the Vikings to the Super Bowl, as many Queens fans believe.

Just settle down and relax. And please, for the love of god, do not dye your fucking Favre shit black for the Nov. 1 game as a way to “cleanse the Packer consciousness.” Nobody will care, certainly not No. 4.