Favre, Favre, Favre… and Benedict Arnold
Yes, it’s the daily update on your former Green Bay Packers’ hero about to become Benedict Arnold, Brett Favre.
Before I point out the obvious, and broach a subject that is sure to incite rage in some Packers fans, let’s catch up with the news on the almighty Favre.
Yesterday, it was revealed the Favre had surgery on his injured shoulder. This, of course, means Favre wants to come out of retirement (again) to play for the Minnesota Vikings. There’s really no denying it anymore.
Whether that happens remains up in the air because Favre is not yet 100 percent. And… because the Minnesota Vikings have apparently given Favre a deadline of this week to make a decision.
Meanwhile, ESPN has doctors on call (who haven’t met with Favre or seen his x-rays, mind you) to analyze Favre’s health. One such analyst is Stephania Bell, who floated the possibility that the almighty Favre might have more damage to his shoulder than just a torn ligament.
“I think the biggest thing [the report] tells us is that the biceps tendon is likely not the only structure responsible for his shoulder pain. In an almost 40-year-old quarterback who has been throwing overhead for years, you’re bound to have wear and tear throughout the shoulder. And even if the biceps is largely responsible for the pain that limited him last year, biceps injuries usually happen in conjunction with other things like rotator cuff problems.”
Unfortunately, our injury analysts here at Total Packers couldn’t tell us anything because we laid them all off when our attempts at becoming a megalomaniacal global corporation failed last fall.
Meanwhile, Favre’s friends and family are booking rooms in Green Bay for November 1, which would be the day the Vikings come to town to play the Packers. So, I guess they think he wants to play for the Vikings this season.
Insider’s tip: you can save yourself some money by putting nickels inside of marshmallows instead of quarters. The weight and velocity are comparable.
Which brings me to my ultimate point. Although we never really had any doubt about Favre’s intentions, we choose to ignore the elephant in the room up to this point. Simply, we’re tired of Brett Favre.
But now that Favre’s intentions are perfectly clear and agent Bus Cook’s verbal duplicity is completely transparent, I think it needs to be said.
The fact Brett Favre would make an effort to play for the Minnesota Vikings, whether it comes to fruition or not, is enough for me to write him off as the selfish, childish, backstabbing, arrogant prick he has proven himself to be.
Had Favre briefly flirted with the notion of playing for the Vikings, it would have been OK. Had he listened to the overtures and turned them down, it would have been alright. Had he had a dream about it and woke up in a cold sweat, that would have been fine.
But Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers legend, has done everything in his power to play football for an arch enemy, a hated rival, the scum of the NFL. That he is yet to realize this goal is irrelevant.
If Jeffrey Dahmer had only attempted to rape, murder and cannibalize his victims, rather than successfully completing these unfortunate acts, we would all still condemn him and his actions.
And that’s what I do to you, Brett Favre.
Enjoy yourself in Minneapolis.
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