Tis the Season of Giving
And that’s just what the Green Bay Packers did last night – gave those scumbags from Chicago a 20-17 overtime victory.
This one turned to shit in the third quarter, when the cursed Jarrett Bush let a Chicago punt bounce off his backside. After that, the Bears gained momentum that never came back to the Packers, who took a 14-3 lead into halftime.
Bush, however, wasn’t the only culprit in the Packers latest clinic on how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. There are several players/units that should be strung up today.
Mason Crosby – missed one field goal, had the potential game-winning 38-yarder blocked with under a minute left in regulation. There certainly was some doubt about whether Crosby would make the final field goal, especially after he slipped and shanked the hell out of his first attempt. I said, “hey, he went to Colorado, this is what we have him for,” referencing the abysmal, freezing cold temperatures in Chicago last night. Crosby, of course, proved me wrong by more or less kicking the ball straight into the line. The kicker said he thought it was a good kick. Personally, I thought it was shit. If that kick were any lower, it would have lodged in Brett Goode’s ass.
The offense – 3 points in the second half, hey guys? Good fucking work. That’ll get ‘er done every time! I’d like to ask Donald Driver why balls are hitting him in the hands and then falling to the ground. I’d like to ask why no one can pick up a corner blitz. But I won’t do any of those things, because I am tired of excuses.
Nick Collins – the Packers Pro Bowl safety. Collins was mostly non-existent Monday night. Although he did have one interception (and a whopping two tackles), Collins demonstrated on two separate occasions why he’s a defensive back and not a wide receiver by letting sure fire interceptions turn into sure fire incompletions.
Special teams – in addition to Crosby, the Packers coverage and return units are abysmal. Danieal Manning, not be confused with his sister Danielle, returned a kickoff 70 yards in the first half, dragging Jarrett Bush with him the last 10 or 15. The Packers are consistently getting flagged for block in the back and holding penalties. And then, of course, there was the Bush momentum changer.
On the positive side, if there is a positive side, for the first time in some time, I don’t think Mike McCarthy got outcoached. Of course, that’s a near impossibility when Lovie Smith (unlike Tony Dungy, the first African-American coach to lose a Super Bowl) is on the opposing sideline.
Thank the lucky fucking stars McCarthy didn’t see fit to hand the ball to John Kuhn on a crucial short-yardage play. Instead, The Genius dialed up DeShawn Wynn on fourth-and-1 inside the Bears 10. Wynn converted. Of course, then the offense sputtered and the Packers kicked a field goal anyway, but the point is someone finally realized that John Kuhn is not the best option on short yardage.
It was also nice to see the fake punt. In a game in which the Packers had nothing to lose, it was good to see a ballsy play call. That call kept momentum firmly on Green Bay’s side in the first half. Remember when the Packers had balls? Those were good times.
Next week the Lions come to Green Bay and while I would like to assure that the Packers will cement their place in history by making Detroit the first 0-16 team in league history, after this most recent debacle, I’m not comfortable guaranteeing anything.
Empty ad slot (#1)!
Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.